


Lab Rat

by Julesmonster



Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Animal Traits, Human Experimentation, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 19:40:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3781981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julesmonster/pseuds/Julesmonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's been abducted and is being used in some unknown experiments. Can Gibbs save him? And if he does, will Tony ever be the same again?</p><p> </p><p>Spoiler Warning: Okay, so this fic is a kinda-sorta creature fic… but not really.  It is also an MPreg… of a sort.  I know there are many out there who are not a fan of either genre, but I don’t think this is your typical MPreg or creature story.  Give it a chance and you may be surprised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**_Part 1_ **

 

_Friday, June 6 th _

 

This wasn’t exactly what Tony had planned for his day when he had gotten out of bed this morning. He had thought that he would go in to work, maybe solve a crime with the team, and then go home to his empty apartment and order in Chinese while he started a weekend long Magnum marathon. He hadn’t thought that the team would catch a case that would make the X-Files look normal. He hadn’t thought that he would spot their suspect while getting lunch for the team. He hadn’t thought that he would be captured—because of course he had to chase him without waiting for backup—and hauled off to some secret laboratory. He hadn’t thought that he would end up as the subject of some bizarre experiment. But then again, if it was weird or dangerous or completely impossible, it happened to Tony. Case in point, who in this century catches the plague? Tony DiNozzo, that’s who.

 

Tony lay on the cot in the cell that the mad scientists—he now knew for certain that there was more than one—had locked him in and sighed. This was certainly not his day, by any means. Right about now he should be digging into a carton of pork fried rice or sweet and sour chicken and watching the opening credits to Shawshank Redemption. God, that was a great movie. Instead, he was sore and tired and had strange things happening to his body. He had been drugged when he was captured and when he woke, still groggy and disoriented, he had found himself strapped to some surgical table with men in white surgical masks leaning over him. They had pumped him full of more drugs through an IV and had done all sorts of tests on him.

 

Tony wasn’t sure why, but he was more uneasy with the tests than he was about being captured. Probably because if they had wanted to kill him, they would have done so already. No, they wanted to experiment on him like they had the Marine whose body had been dumped last night. And like the time he had caught the plague, he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to like the results.

 

 **GDGDGDGDGD**  
  


_Saturday, June 7 th _

 

“Where the fuck is he?!” Gibbs demanded from his cowering team. They all knew that Gibbs was upset by Tony’s disappearance. They all knew that he wasn’t thinking rationally. And provoking the man in this state was a dangerous prospect. “McGee! Why haven’t you found any trace of his cell phone’s GPS? David! Get back out there and talk to witnesses. Somebody must have seen _something_!”

 

“On it, Boss,” McGee said even as Ziva grabbed her bag and headed back out the door.

 

Abby, the only one brave enough to approach Gibbs at times like this, walked over to the older man and hugged him. “We’re going to find him.”

 

Gibbs said nothing, but uncharacteristically hugged Abby back, taking comfort from her rather than giving it for once.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Thursday, July 31 st _

 

Tony had lost track of time. The mad scientists had knocked him out more than once and he had awoken in his cell more than once feeling sore and disoriented. He kept forgetting things. He wasn’t sure if it was the drugs or something else, but remembering was getting harder and harder to do. He tried his best to fight that, since he couldn’t really fight anything else—he knew they drugged his food to keep him weak and calm, but had no choice but to eat unless he wanted to starve. He used mental exercises to try to remember. He tried to replay everything that had happened to him since coming to this place, but that was getting harder and harder to do. He didn’t have as much trouble with his memories from before. He remembered Gibbs and Abby the best. Memories of Tim, Ziva and Ducky were almost as strong. After that, the list shortened quickly. He remembered Palmer and the director, but the details were sketchy at best. He couldn’t remember his family at all.

 

There were scratches on the wall beside the bed. Tony rather thought that he might have put them there to try and keep track of how long he had been held. There were seven lines and he added an eighth. He doubted that it had been eight days, though. Probably eight times that he had woken up from a drugged state. It could have been three days or three months for all he knew.

 

The door opened and one of the men, wearing his white lab coat and with a surgical mask blocking his features handed him his dinner tray. It was grilled fish and steamed vegetables.

 

“Think I could get some pizza one of these days?” Tony joked weakly. “Sausage and pepperoni with extra cheese?”

 

“Pizza is not good for you,” the man murmured quietly before leaving and locking the door.

 

Tony sighed and picked up his plate. At least they were feeding him.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Tuesday, September 9 th _

 

“What have you got?” Gibbs asked Tim as he entered the bullpen and set his coffee down on his desk.

 

“We finally got an ID on the suspect from the night club where the Marine disappeared,” Tim said. It had taken more time than any of them had imagined, but Tim had finally found their guy. After weeks spent running programs that would search every social network and online photo gallery looking for a man who matched their suspect’s description and multiple meetings with the witnesses, Tim had finally found their man. “His name is Sherman Fields.”

 

Gibbs looked at the plasma screen. “Are you sure this is our guy?” This geek didn’t look like he could beat up a twelve year old girl, let alone abduct a Marine or an NCIS agent.

 

“I’m positive,” Tim said. “Both the bartender and the bouncer confirmed this is our man.”

 

“Okay, what do we have on him?” Gibbs asked. He picked up his coffee and took a sip appearing calmer than he felt.

 

“On the surface, nothing,” Ziva said. “He’s got no arrests, not even a parking ticket on his record.”

 

“But,” Tim said before Gibbs could bark at them. “He’s a member of an online community that discusses sci-fi plots and their plausibility in real life.”

 

“We’ve been back-tracking the discussion boards over the past few months,” Ziva said. “We think this group is behind both abductions with the intention of testing out their theories.”

 

“Which would explain why our Marine turned up dead, with animal tissue grafted onto him,” Gibbs said. “Alright, lest start tracking down each and every one of these bastards. I want to know every move they make. We’re getting Tony back.”

 

Gibbs’ gut told him they would find Tony soon. The question was would it be soon enough? Would he be alive and the same Tony they had once known after all this time? Gibbs prayed that he would be.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Tuesday, September 16 th _

 

There were sixteen lines on the wall now. He counted them over and over again as he lay on his cot. He couldn’t remember making any of those other lines, but he had made the last one. He didn’t remember much, but he clung to certain names and faces as though they were his life line. Gibbs, with the silver hair and the temperament of a bulldog. Abby with her soft heart and harsh makeup. Tim with his computer-like brain and compassion for all living things. Ziva with her quick wit and dangerous skills hidden beneath a beautiful exterior. Ducky’s wisdom and concern, like a kindly grandfather to them all. He clutched at their names and faces as his last connection to reality and a world beyond these four walls.

 

There was one other name that he remembered. Tony. He wasn’t positive, but he thought that might be his name.

 

There were bruises and scars on his body that Tony was sure didn’t belong there, but couldn’t recall why. There was a fuzzy memory of pain. There was a deep seated knowledge that he might die. There wasn’t much else in his world.

 

And then there was a clamor and shouting. There were gunshots and screaming and Tony covered his ears to drown out the harsh noises. He looked for a place to run, even though he knew there was nowhere he could go. He dropped to the floor and tried to crawl under the bed. It was cramped and dark and he barely fit with his feet poking out the end. He was frightened in a way that made his entire body shudder.

 

The door to the cell opened and Tony watched as feet approached the bed. “Tony?”

 

The men never called him Tony. He was always Subject 2.

 

“Tony, it’s going to be okay,” the voice said soothingly. “We’re here to rescue you. You can come out. You’re safe now.”

 

Tony wasn’t sure if that was true or not, but the hope, the hope that would not die, the hope that had him scratching lines on a wall and clinging to names and faces that he couldn’t quite place, made him peek up from his hiding spot. There, crouching low beside the bed was a familiar face. No mask this time, and no needle filled with some drug to make Tony sleep.

 

“Gibbs?” Tony said; his voice was no more than a whisper of air between them.

 

“Yeah,” Gibbs said with a smile. “Come on, Tony. Let’s get you out of here. Ducky’s going to want to check you out. He’s been worried about you.”

 

“Ducky,” Tony said with something akin to awe. Some part of him had almost believed he had made these names and faces up. Some part of him had almost believed that there was no world beyond these walls. “Tim, Ziva, Abby?”

 

“Yeah, them too,” Gibbs said gently.

 

Tony slid out from under the bed, knelt on the cold concrete floor and touched Gibbs’ face. He wasn’t an illusion. He was real. “You’re real. You’re really here.”

 

“Yeah,” Gibbs said and took Tony’s hand in his own. “I’m really here. I’m sorry it took so long to get here.”

 

Tony nodded, though he wasn’t sure why Gibbs was sorry.

 

“Can you stand? Can you walk?” Gibbs asked.

 

Tony shook his head. “I’m… not sure.”

 

“Alright,” Gibbs said. “I’m going to help you up and we’ll just see.” It soon became apparent that Tony couldn’t stand on his own. His legs were too weak and his head still swam from the drugs he had been fed for so long. Gibbs helped him sit on the bed. “I’m going to call for a stretcher. I’ll be right back.”

 

Tony nodded but he didn’t let go of Gibbs’ hand. He couldn’t let go. If he did, the man would disappear and he would wake up and know that this had all been some sort of dream.

 

“Tony, you have to let go of my hand,” Gibbs said calmly.

 

Tony shook his head and clutched tighter to the older man.

 

“Okay, it’s okay,” Gibbs sighed as he sat down on the cot and pulled him into a hug. “I won’t go. I won’t leave you. We’ll just wait for the others to come to us.”

 

Tony rested his head on Gibbs’ chest, curling into a tight ball on the cot as he reveled in the warmth and comfort the other man’s arms gave. He didn’t remember ever feeling so safe or so warm. The men never touched him except to give him the dreaded shots that stole time and his memory. And his cell was never warm enough, with the damp stone walls always dripping with condensation. The sheet on his bed gave no comfort and the hospital gown gave no warmth.

 

“You found him.”

 

Tony looked up and saw Ziva standing in the doorway.

 

“Go get Ducky and Palmer,” Gibbs said quietly. “Have them bring a stretcher. I don’t want him going anywhere without one of us. He’s… he needs us right now.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**_Part 2_ **

 

_Tuesday, September 16 th _

 

They tried to take Tony to Bethesda, but the first sight of a man in scrubs had Tony panicking and scrambling to get away.

 

“It doesn’t look like he’s suffering from any obvious injuries,” Gibbs said as he held Tony, now trembling again, in his arms. “Can you check him out at NCIS?”

 

Ducky sighed. “I would prefer that he was treated here. The hospital has equipment that we do not have. But… Well, I suppose we can make do with what we have. If something comes up, we may have to bring him back.”

 

Gibbs nodded. “I understand. But right now, his terror seems to be worse than his injuries.”

 

And so they had gone back to NCIS. Tony clung to Gibbs the entire way. Once there, Tony was put in a wheelchair and taken to autopsy where he had a similar panic attack to the one at the hospital. So they brought him to Abby’s lab instead.

 

“Tony!” Abby cried as soon as she saw him. She frowned however, when he cringed and tried to hide behind Gibbs. “Gibbs?”

 

“He’s okay,” Gibbs said quietly. “But you might want to adjust your enthusiasm levels for a while.”

 

“Abby?” Tony asked, looking up at the girl before him. “Where are your pigtails?”

 

Abby smiled. “I refused to wear them until we got you back. I’ll put them in now, if you want.”

 

Tony nodded shyly. He watched as she pulled her hair up and she transformed into the girl he remembered. “It is you.”

 

“Yeah,” Abby said with a teary smile as she bent down to meet his gaze. “It’s me. I’m so glad you’re home. I missed you so much.”

 

Tony nodded again.

 

“We need to do some blood tests and find out what sort of drugs Tony has in his system,” Ducky said. “And then we’ll see how to proceed from there.”

 

“Why isn’t he at the hospital?” Abby asked.

 

“Tony’s not very comfortable around doctors or medical facilities right now,” Ducky said diplomatically.

 

“The men who had him were all wearing medical scrubs and white coats when we infiltrated the warehouse,” Gibbs said. “I think he’s developed a phobia.”

 

Abby nodded. “Tony? I need to use a needle to take some blood. Is that okay?”

 

Tony’s eyes filled with fear and he grasped at Gibbs’ arm as tightly as his weakened condition allowed.

 

Gibbs laid his free hand over Tony’s and leaned over to him. “I’m going to be with you the whole time, Tony. No one here is going to hurt you. I promise. We just need to make sure that you’re okay. You know Abby. You asked about her, remember?”

 

Tony nodded jerkily. He knew Abby. He could trust Abby. He turned to her and noticed that she was crying. He let go of Gibbs and traced the tear track down her face. He didn’t want to make Abby cry. “Okay. You can have my blood.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Over the next hours, Gibbs stayed with Tony while Abby and Ducky worked to find out just what those monsters had done to him. It quickly became obvious that there was more wrong with Tony than being traumatized. When one of the agents from another team came down to drop off evidence from the warehouse, a woman Tony had flirted with a hundred times, Tony had shied away from her and obviously didn’t know who she was, even after being told her name.

 

“He’s got a whole pharmaceutical company in his veins,” Abby hissed quietly. Tony had fallen asleep on her futon holding onto Gibbs’ hand. Gibbs, who had been searching practically 24/7 since Tony’s abduction, had soon succumbed to sleep as well and Abby didn’t want to wake either of them. “Half of these compounds, I have no idea what they do. Or how Tony will react as he comes off of them.”

 

“We’ll have to wait and see,” Ducky sighed. “I can’t approve giving him anything until these drugs are out of his system. And we can’t do any further tests until we can sedate him.”

 

“Even the x-ray scared him,” Abby agreed. She was livid at what had been done to Tony. As far as she was concerned all of those quacks deserved to die. In fact several of them had, shot when they fired on the NCIS force that had tracked them down. There had been a total of eight men involved in the experiments. It had taken them some time to gather enough evidence to bring Fields in on the charge of murdering the Marine but when they had, Gibbs had broken him and he gave up the location of the others. They were holed up in the underground level of an abandoned warehouse in Virginia. Gibbs had called on two other teams to help them take the place down and find their agent. In the battle, three of the seven remaining scientists had been killed, two wounded and the last two had given up. But none of the five that were still alive were talking about what had gone on in that cellar.

 

“Well, at least he is home now,” Ducky said. “We will all be here to support him as he recovers.”

 

Abby nodded. “I just wish…”

 

“I know,” Ducky said and patted her on the back. “Now, we should get back to figuring out what all of these drugs are and what affect they had on Tony.”

 

“This is going to take a while,” Abby said. “Each drug is made up of numerous compounds, some of which are used in multiple drugs.”

 

“We will do what we can,” Ducky said encouragingly. “For Tony’s sake.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Tim and Ziva supervised the processing of the warehouse, taking special care since their friend was the victim this time. They returned to NCIS in the wee hours of the morning with truck loads of evidence that had been taken from the scene. The most important evidence, however, were the medical records that the crazies had kept on Tony. Tim rushed those directly up to Abby and Ducky in the lab while Ziva began to sort through the other files and documents as they were unloaded into the garage.

 

He found Ducky and Abby trying to match chemical signatures to known drugs when he entered the lab. Abby quickly motioned for him to be quiet, and he looked over to see Gibbs and Tony both asleep on the futon.

 

“This ought to help,” Tim said quietly as he handed the thick file to Ducky. “It’s the medical records they kept of what they did to him.”

 

Abby looked on as Ducky leafed through the pages and then turned back to Tim. “Did you read it?”

 

Tim nodded. “Some of it. I didn’t have much time on the way back here. But Abby, it’s….”

 

“Not good?” Abby asked. Tim shook his head.

 

“Okay, here we go,” Ducky said. “There is a list of all of the medications they used on Tony, both daily and for specific experiments. His last dosage was twelve hours ago, so his body should be free from the drugs in the next twelve to twenty-four hours. Hmm. This is interesting. I believe I understand Tony’s memory loss. Look at this.”

 

Abby took the file and read where Ducky had pointed. “Oh. Yeah. That would certainly explain a lot.”

 

“What?” Tim asked.

 

“Tony’s memory is… mostly gone,” Abby said. “He remembers us, but doesn’t really remember why he remembers us. Gibbs asked him some questions about people and places he should know, but there wasn’t anything. He remembers the team and that’s about it. He doesn’t even remember why he knows us, just that he does and that we were important enough to remember.”

 

“Christ,” Tim said with a shake of his head.

 

“Yes, well,” Ducky said. “Two of the drugs they were using on him, one to keep him calm and one to keep him immobile, when used together can cause damage to the brain.”

 

“There was an article in one of the medical journals last year,” Abby said. “Since both drugs are commonly used in hospitals, the side effects of using them together were fairly easy to trace. The damage is done specifically to the part of the brain that controls memory.”

 

“In most cases that were studied, there was total amnesia because of the drug interaction,” Ducky said. “And in sixty percent of the cases, it was permanent. The other forty percent recovered some memory, but not all. The longer the drugs were combined, the worse the memory loss was.”

 

“You think they used the two in combination on purpose?” Tim asked.

 

“It would seem likely,” Ducky said. “But I will know more once I have had time to read through this file. In the meantime, it does not look as if there are any drugs that will cause further harm as he comes off of them. I’ll make you a copy of the list of medications, Abby, and you can cross reference them with the substances we found in his blood.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Wednesday, September 17 th _

 

Gibbs woke up and found that he was still on the futon in Abby’s lab. The morning light was beginning to come though the windows and he smiled as he noticed that Tony was still holding on to his arm like a teddy bear. He had Tony back. He wasn’t whole, but he was alive. Carefully extracting himself from Tony’s grasp, Gibbs stood up and stretched. He felt better than he had felt in the months since Tony’s disappearance. He had slept, truly slept, for the first time in weeks.

 

Abby was still at her computer and Gibbs walked over to her. “Good morning.”

 

Abby smiled back. “Morning, Gibbs. Sleep well?”

 

“Better than I have a right,” Gibbs said. “Any news?”

 

“Tim brought back the medical file they were keeping on Tony,” Abby said. “Ducky’s reading over it and I’m cross referencing the list of medications with the substances we found in his blood and then looking up their purpose. So far, I’ve matched them all but one.”

 

“Which one?” Gibbs asked.

 

Abby pointed to her screen. “Diamylthyrizine Nitrate. I can work out the chemical properties based on what is left that we found in his blood, but I have found no reference to the drug in any of the medical databases I’ve checked so far. Ducky doesn’t seem to think it will be harmful to Tony coming off of it, but I want to find out what it’s meant to do so I can know for sure.”

 

Gibbs nodded and looked over the list that Abby had completed. “Do we know why his memory is shot?”

 

Abby told Gibbs what they had discovered about the drug interaction and Ducky’s suspicion that it had been deliberately. “He’ll tell you more when you talk with him, I’m sure.”

 

Gibbs nodded. “Can you keep an eye on Tony? I want to get cleaned up, get some coffee and talk to Ducky. I’d rather not have Tony around for that conversation, if possible. He’ll need to know eventually, but…”

 

“I get it Bossman,” Abby said. “I’ll make sure he’s okay when he wakes up. And if there’s a problem, I’ll call you.”

 

Gibbs leaned over and kissed Abby’s cheek. “Thanks.”

 

Gibbs didn’t take long to clean up and grab some coffee and was soon on his way down to autopsy, where he found Ducky frowning and muttering to himself as he sorted pages of the file Gibbs assumed was Tony’s. Ducky looked up as soon as he heard the door to autopsy open.

 

“Good, Jethro, I was just about to call you,” Ducky said.

 

“What have you found?” Gibbs asked.

 

Ducky sighed. “As you can see, I have found quite a bit. They performed no less than five experiments on Tony, some were rather straightforward and I doubt will have any lasting negative effect on Tony, but there is one that has me very concerned.”

 

“Start with the straightforward ones,” Gibbs said as he looked down at the piles of papers that Ducky had sorted.

 

Ducky picked up one of the piles. “These three are similar to some of the experiments they performed on Sergeant Mitchell. They used genetics to alter Tony’s DNA in an attempt to give him certain animal-like characteristics. They had not yet gotten to the stage where they tried to graft the animal parts to his body, but they indicate that there was some success with their preliminary stages of the transformation.”

 

“What does that mean for Tony?” Gibbs asked as he looked over notes that he did not understand.

 

“It means, according to tests they performed on him after the procedures, that Tony now has increased senses,” Ducky said. “You said you found him under the bed when you located his cell? Well, that isn’t surprising. His new instincts will be more basic than most humans. The fight or flight instinct, being the most basic. Since he was trapped, he would feel the need to hide, though I would say that if he was stronger, or if he hadn’t trusted you, the instinct to fight would have been more prevalent. And with his improved hearing, the loud noises of the fight would have set him off.”

 

“Makes sense,” Gibbs said thoughtfully. He was frowning down at the list of traits they were attempting to give Tony. “Improved eyesight, improved hearing, improved sense of smell… Did they complete all three?”

 

“Yes,” Ducky said. “These improvements are basically simple enough, but there may be some repercussions. The human mind was not designed to deal with the additional input that theses senses give him and it is hard to know how he will react to them.”

 

“Okay,” Gibbs sighed and put that pile down. Ducky handed him another pile of papers and Gibbs looked at it. “What is this?”

 

“When I said that Tony might be dangerous if he could have fought?” Ducky said. “I meant it. They genetically increased his strength and speed as well, tweaking his strength genes to resemble that of an ape and his speed genes to resemble that of a cheetah.”

 

“He doesn’t look any stronger or faster,” Gibbs said. In fact, Tony looked rather weak and defenseless. He had lost weight and was pale, not to mention, his fragile emotional state.

 

“Looks can be deceiving,” Ducky said. “According to their tests, Tony can easily lift the equivalent of five times his body weight. That is part of the reason they kept him so anaesthetized.”

 

Gibbs nodded. “Not a smart move to make your captive strong enough to take out your entire team without some way to restrain him. What are the long term effects?”

 

“There may be strain to his heart or his lungs,” Ducky said. “Until I can test how his body responds to stress, I cannot tell for certain.”

 

“And the last experiment?” Gibbs asked as he put the papers back.

 

Ducky handed him the smallest pile. “This is referred to as Experiment X. There is no actual information on the experiment, only references to it. The drug that Abby cannot identify is related to this experiment. There are blood test results and brief mentions of three successful surgeries, but that is all. There is no indication as to what the experiment was or what they intended as the outcome. This is the most worrisome of the three simply because I have no idea what I should even be looking for.”

 

Gibbs sighed. Before he could respond, however, Abby’s voice sounded over the intercom. “Gibbs! I need you up here like ten minutes ago!” Gibbs and Ducky could hear something smashing in the background.

 

“On my way!” Gibbs rushed out of autopsy and headed for the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator. Ducky followed behind at a slower pace, but just as concerned.

 

When Gibbs arrived at the lab, it was just in time to see Tony throwing a chair through one of the glass walls between the lab and Abby’s office. Abby was ducked down behind one of her machines and trying to calm Tony down with soothing words.

 

“I want Gibbs!” Tony shouted as he picked up the computer monitor from Abby’s desk and made to toss it.

 

“Tony!” Gibbs shouted. “Put that down!”

 

Tony paused mid throw and looked up at Gibbs. “Gibbs?”

 

“You wanted me, and I’m here,” Gibbs said.

 

Tony dropped the monitor, not even seeming to notice when it shattered against the floor. He rushed over to Gibbs like a lost child and hugged him tightly, his face buried in the older man’s neck. “I thought you left me,” he mumbled into the fabric of Gibbs’ shirt. “You said you wouldn’t leave me.”

 

Gibbs sighed and wrapped his arms around Tony and gently stroked his head. “I was just downstairs with Ducky. I didn’t leave you. I just left the room. Abby was here.”

 

“She’s not Gibbs,” Tony muttered. “She’s not safe and warm.”

 

Gibbs sighed again. “Okay Tony. Okay. I won’t leave you again unless you say it’s okay. Alright?” Tony nodded, but didn’t release Gibbs. “You okay, Abs?” Gibb asked.

 

Abby was busy looking around at the destruction Tony had caused. “I’m fine, but my equipment has had better days. I don’t think even the cute repairman can fix some of this.”

 

Tony looked up and seemed to realize what he had done for the first time. “Did I do this? I’m sorry Abby.”

 

In some ways, Tony was like a child, with little control over his emotions right now. Gibbs wondered how much of that was due to trauma and the drugs in his system and how much was due to the experiments that were done on him. How permanent would this be? Would the Tony they all knew and loved ever return?

 


	3. Chapter 3

**_Part 3_ **

 

_Wednesday, September 17 th _

 

Gibbs took Tony back to his house a few hours later. It was obvious that Tony couldn’t be left alone, and Gibbs had promised that he would be there for the younger man. Gibbs had made a point of making sure that Tony’s apartment had been kept and cleaned once a week in his absence, but it appeared now that he needn’t have bothered. Even if Tony recovered fully, it was going to be a long and complicated road getting there. In the meantime, he had latched onto Gibbs and Gibbs wasn’t about to let him down again. His guilt over the fact that it had taken them more than three months to get his senior agent back sat heavy on his heart.

 

“We’re here,” Gibbs said as he shut off the engine of his car. “Let’s go inside and I’ll show you around.”

 

Tony followed Gibbs docilely and carried the bag of clothes that they had retrieved from Tony’s apartment. He looked at the house and felt nothing. He knew he should remember this place. Gibbs had told him that he used to stay there sometimes when there was some problem with his apartment, but Tony felt no recollection, just as he hadn’t felt anything when he was at his apartment. He’d felt some sort of familiarity at NCIS, though there was nothing specific.

 

“I don’t remember,” Tony said quietly. They had entered the house and were now standing in the entryway. Tony looked at the comfortably worn furniture in the living room and thought that it was nice.

 

“Don’t worry,” Gibbs said and laid a hand on Tony’s shoulder. “It’ll come to you. And if it doesn’t, you’ll make new memories.”

 

Tony nodded and silently followed Gibbs as the older man gave him a tour of the home. They dropped Tony’s bag in the room where Gibbs said that Tony always stayed. Tony looked around and still felt nothing. It wasn’t until Gibbs showed Tony his workshop in the basement that Tony felt any sort of recognition.

 

“Your boat,” Tony said as he ran a reverent hand over the arched wood. “You don’t believe in power tools. And sometimes you fall asleep down here after working late into the night.”

 

Gibbs grinned. “That’s right.”

 

Tony walked over to the work bench. “This is your only TV.”

 

“It used to be,” Gibbs said. “The last time you stayed, you brought a TV and insisted that I keep it in the living room when you left. For times when you come to visit.”

 

“Do I visit often?” Tony asked as he turned to look at Gibbs.

 

“Sometimes,” Gibbs said. “When things get to you, you like to come here, even if it’s just to watch me work on the boat or watch a movie upstairs. I think it helps you feel less alone.”

 

“I’m not alone,” Tony said, almost to himself as his eyes drifted away. “I’m Tony and I have Gibbs and Abby and Tim and Ziva and Ducky.”

 

Gibbs could almost picture Tony repeating that to himself as he sat alone in that dank cell and his heart almost broke. He cleared his throat and said, “No, you aren’t alone. Sometimes you used to forget that.”

 

Tony looked at Gibbs, his eyes focused once more and smiled wryly. “That’s the only thing I remember now.”

 

Gibbs leaned forward and grabbed the nape of Tony’s neck and squeezed comfortingly. “Well, that’s the most important thing to remember.”

 

The two stood there as the minutes passed until Gibbs finally pulled away and headed towards the stairs. “It’s about time to eat. Why don’t we order pizza?”

 

Tony’s face lit up. “With sausage, pepperoni and extra cheese?”

 

“That you remember?” Gibbs teased, pleased that Tony was remembering some things. “I didn’t think there was any other kind with you around.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Gibbs hadn’t yet fallen asleep, but he was on the verge when the door to his room opened and he watched Tony slowly enter the room. He must not have noticed that Gibbs was awake, because he silently shuffled over and sat down on the floor beside Gibbs. He leaned back against the bed and tried to get comfortable.

 

“Tony?”

 

There was a pause and then a hesitant, “Yeah?”

 

“Get in the bed,” Gibbs said.

 

He watched as Tony got up and walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed under the covers. He lay there stiffly, trying not to disturb Gibbs. Gibbs listened to the younger man try to feign sleep, but he knew that it was an act. His heart was beating too fast and he was shivering. Gibbs sighed and reached out to pull Tony closer to him. Tony let out a quiet sob and curled up against Gibbs’ side, his face pressed to his shoulder as he cried. Gibbs held him until the younger man had quieted.

 

“I don’t like being alone,” Tony said with a shaky voice.

 

“Then you’ll stay here,” Gibbs said. “Do you want to talk about it?” Gibbs felt Tony shake his head no. “Alright. Why don’t we get some sleep then?”

 

“Okay,” Tony said. “Thank you.”

 

Gibbs swallowed back his guilt and said, “Good night, Tony.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Thursday, September 18 th _

 

Tony wanted to go with Gibbs on his run the next morning. Gibbs was reluctant to let him, considering the fact that Tony was still recovering physically from the drugs that had been polluting his body for so long. In the end, he gave in, intending to take it easy and make it a short run for Tony’s sake. He was shocked, therefore, when _Tony_ kept adjusting his speed and stride so that _Gibbs_ could keep up. The younger man was barely even breathing hard when they arrived back at the house after a five mile run.

 

“That felt really good,” Tony said with a wide grin. “I think I like running.”

 

“Well, I run every morning,” Gibbs said as he wiped the sweat from his brow. “You can come with me any time you want.”

 

“Do you ever run longer?” Tony asked. “I feel like I was just warming up.”

 

“Not when I’m running at the pace you set today,” Gibbs admitted. “At a slower pace, I can go a few more miles.”

 

“Oh.” Tony looked confused, as though he didn’t understand why Gibbs couldn’t keep up.

 

Gibbs went to the kitchen and began preparing breakfast for the two of them. Tony followed him and sat at the table, watching him work.

 

“Tony, can we talk about some of the things that happened when you were being held?” Gibbs asked tentatively. Tony had refused to talk about it the previous day.

 

Tony stared down at the table. “I don’t remember anything.”

 

“I’m not going to ask you questions,” Gibbs said. “I want to tell you a little about some of the things we found out. Do you want to hear?”

 

Tony had to think about that. It might be easier if he didn’t know, but Gibbs looked like he wanted Tony to say yes. “Okay.”

 

Gibbs sighed. It wasn’t the enthusiastic response he was hoping for, but it would do for now. “Tony, the people who abducted you did more to you than cause your memory troubles. They did things that changed your body.”

 

“I kind of remember pain,” Tony said. “And I know there are scars that don’t belong.”

 

“That’s right,” Gibbs said. “One of the things they did was to increase your strength. The reason I can’t run as fast or as far as you is because they made you much stronger than me.”

 

Tony seemed to think that over as Gibbs turned back to the eggs in the frying pan. A few minutes passed in silence. “What else did they do?”

 

“We don’t know everything yet,” Gibbs admitted. “But we do know that they changed your senses of sight, hearing, and smell. There is more, but nothing else that caused permanent changes. If you’d like to know the details, we can sit down with Ducky and he can explain it all.”

 

Tony nodded. “But you don’t know everything yet.”

 

“No,” Gibbs said. He plated up their eggs and then went over to Tony and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “There was one experiment that we haven’t been able to find details about yet. But we will.”

 

Tony nodded again. “I don’t know if knowing is better or worse than not knowing.”

 

Gibbs squeezed Tony’s shoulder again before going to retrieve their plates.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

“He’s much more coherent today,” Ducky commented as he and Gibbs watched Tony and Abby playing some computer game in Abby’s office. Tony was actually laughing, something he hadn’t done since his return.

 

“He is,” Gibbs said. “And he remembered my boat last night.”

 

“I think that is a very good sign,” Ducky said. “The fact that he held onto any memory at all given the length of time they had him on that drug cocktail speaks for the strength of Tony’s mind. I would not be surprised if he regains at least some small part of his memories, but I would not hope for more than that.”

 

“I told him about the experiments,” Gibbs told the ME. “He wanted to know why I couldn’t keep up with him on our run this morning. We ran five miles in under thirty minutes and he barely broke a sweat.”

 

“I see,” Ducky said. “Well, I hadn’t thought he would be up to full strength so quickly.”

 

“That’s the thing,” Gibbs said. “I don’t think he is.”

 

Ducky closed his eyes for a moment. “Well. I suppose that will be one more thing we’ll be testing. I want to get him started soon. We could use the gym for a stress test. I’d like to test him daily for a while to see if things change and how quickly. I’d also like to test his vision, and hearing. I have considered how to test his sense of smell, but it would be complicated and without a base to compare it against, I’m not sure it would tell us anything useful. For his sight and hearing, I have the results from his annual physical to compare.”

 

“Why don’t you go get things set up and I’ll bring Tony down in a few minutes,” Gibbs said. He watched as Abby playfully punched Tony’s arm and the younger man laughed again. Gibbs’ mouth turned up in a rare smile.

 

“I’ll do that,” Ducky said even as he watched his friend’s unusual reaction. With a small smile of his own, Ducky left to prepare for the tests and physical exam.

 

“Tony!” Gibbs called, getting the other man’s attention. Tony and Abby both looked up, but it was the wide grin from Tony that made Gibbs smile again. “Ducky wants to run some tests down in the gym. We need to go get changed.”

 

“Okay,” Tony said. He was already on his way to Gibbs’ side and they were soon out the door without a glance back at Abby. “What sort of tests?”

 

“I think he wants to do another physical, to make sure the drugs are out of your system,” Gibbs said. “He also said something about a stress test, amongst other things. He wants to see how your heart and lungs hold up with the changes they made to your body. He’ll probably want to do this a few times, so be prepared.”

 

Tony shrugged. “I don’t mind, I guess. What exactly is a stress test?”

 

Gibbs laughed. “It’s when a doctor tries to give you a heart attack by making you exercise until you drop.”

 

“Oh,” Tony said. “Why would Ducky want to give me a heart attack?”

 

“Just to see how strong it is,” Gibbs said. “He doesn’t want to actually give you a heart attack, just get you to the brink.”

 

Tony shrugged. “Okay.”

 

“What were you and Abby laughing about?” Gibbs asked as they entered the locker room.

 

Tony went to the locker that Gibbs had shown him was his earlier and pulled out his workout clothes. “She was getting pissy because I was beating her at some game. So I teased her a bit.”

 

Gibbs smiled, though his back was to Tony so the younger man didn’t see it. “What game was that?”

 

“I don’t know what it’s called, but two pictures come up and sometimes you have to find the difference between the two and sometimes you have to find the things listed at the bottom. Sometimes it only shows you a silhouette of the object and you have to figure out what it is. She was mad because I was beating the levels twice as fast as her. She said I was cheating because I never could beat her before.” He paused for a moment and looked thoughtful. “Maybe it has something to do with what you told me about my eyes.”

 

“Probably,” Gibbs agreed.

 

Soon Tony was ready and they went out to the gym. They found Ducky and Palmer waiting for them in a curtained off corner of the room. They walked over and Tony stood patiently while Ducky checked his vitals and reflexes. Then they moved on to the eye test and Tony had no problems reading the smallest print on the chart, so Ducky changed the chart and had Tony step back twice as far and they began again. Again, Tony had no problems reading the chart. A third chart was hung and Tony stepped back again. This time, he missed two letters on the last row.

 

“Remarkable,” Ducky said as he recorded the results.

 

They moved on to the hearing test and Tony put the ear phones over his ears after listening to the instructions from Ducky. He dutifully raised his right or left hand as he heard a tone in the corresponding ear. Ducky adjusted the volume and the hertz numerous times and Tony still seemed to hear all of the tones. Again, Ducky’s only response was: “Remarkable.”

 

Then they began the stress test. Tony was wired to several monitors as he began to run on the treadmill. Gibbs was impressed with the fact that Tony started out at a rather fast rate and didn’t slow a bit even as Ducky increased the incline gradually. Even after the treadmill was at its steepest incline, Tony’s pace never faltered. It took more than an hour and almost fifteen miles at this impressive rate before Tony began showing signs of fatigue. His heart rate, however, never once went above 140, nowhere near the target of 180, and his lungs sounded healthier and were functioning more efficiently than they had _before_ he’d had the plague.

 

“Remarkable,” Ducky said for the third time as he recorded the results of the test.

 

Tony climbed down from the treadmill and accepted the water and towel that Palmer handed to him. “I guess I passed, then?”

 

“With flying colors,” Ducky said with a smile. “I had been concerned that some of the changes might negatively affect your heart or lungs, but it seems to have had the opposite effect. Of course, you are less than forty eight hours off the drugs, and I would like to monitor how that changes your strength and endurance as time passes.”

 

Tony nodded even as he drank down almost the entire bottle of water. “Okay.”

 

Gibbs gave Tony a long look. “Tony, you don’t have to agree with everything. You know that right?”

 

Tony looked lost for a minute, but then he smiled. “Yeah. I know that. I just haven’t disagreed with anything you all have asked of me. I mean, I want to know what they did to me and I want to know how it will affect me.”

 

Gibbs smiled, pleased by that answer. “Okay. In that case, let’s get you changed and head up to the bullpen. I want to see how Ziva and Tim are doing with closing up this case.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Tony looked around at the bullpen, ignoring the fact that Tim and Ziva were staring at him. “This was my desk?” he asked Gibbs.

 

“Yeah,” Gibbs said. “For five years.”

 

Tony sat down and began opening and closing drawers. He didn’t really recognize any of the stuff in the desk or on it, but he knew instinctively that it was his. He picked up a small statuette. “Brutus. The mascot for Ohio State.”

 

“That you remember,” Tim chuckled ruefully.

 

“I remember more than that,” Tony said defensively. He thought hard. “Probie.”

 

Tim’s smile seemed to falter as his eyes filled with tears. “I guess you do.”

 

“And I remember Zee-Vah,” Tony said, drawing out Ziva’s name the way he had a thousand times before.

 

“It is good to have you back,” Ziva said with a watery smile, showing more emotion than Gibbs could remember seeing from her since killing her brother.

 

Tony shrugged, “Not back really, but I’m getting better.”

 

“How are you two getting along processing everything?” Gibbs said, and soon the three were embroiled in a discussion of the case.

 

Despite the fact that it directly involved him, Tony was not really interested in the conversation. Instead, he went back to searching through his drawers. When he came across a lock box in the bottom drawer, Tony’s mind gave a flutter of memory. Before he even opened it, he knew what was inside. Awards. Gibbs’ service awards. Tony had kept them for the other man in case he wanted them someday.

 

Tony stared at the awards and all kinds of thoughts ran through his head.

 

“Tony?” Gibbs said breaking into Tony’s introspection more than an hour later. “Are you okay?”

 

Tony put the awards away and looked up at Gibbs with a smile. “Yeah. Just meditating.”

 

Gibbs laughed at Tony’s familiar refrain. Tony might not remember everything, but he was still the same man he had always been underneath. “Right. Ducky wants to see us.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**_Part 4_ **

 

_Thursday, September 18 th _

 

Tony followed Gibbs down to autopsy but he paused outside the door, recalling his reaction the previous day to the clinical room.

 

“Do you want me to ask Ducky to speak with us out here?” Gibbs asked.

 

Tony considered that but shook his head no. “I need to get over this. There’s nothing to fear in there.”

 

Despite his brave words, however, Tony could feel his heart pounding his breathing become shallower with every step he took inside that room. Five steps were the most he could manage before he bolted back out the way he had come. Gibbs and Ducky found him panting hard and leaning against the wall of the hallway.

 

“Are you alright, my dear boy?” Ducky asked with concern.

 

Tony took a minute to pull himself together. “Yeah. I think so. Just… Well, I made it five steps and didn’t go nuts like last time.”

 

“Definitely an improvement,” Ducky said encouragingly.

 

“You wanted to discuss Tony’s test results?” Gibbs asked and Tony was grateful for the change of subject.

 

“Yes, yes,” Ducky said. “I am pleased to note that no trace of the drugs was found in Tony’s system. On that same note, it is rather odd that they would be completely gone in such a relatively short period of time.”

 

“You think this might have something to do with Experiment X?” Gibbs asked with a frown.

 

“I believe it does,” Ducky stated. “Tony has always been a fast healer, but never this fast. The fact that he had multiple surgeries in such a short period of time and had recovered fully from them long enough to have scars is another indicator.”

 

“You think they increased my ability to heal?” Tony asked.

 

“Beyond simple healing,” Ducky said. “Since you suffered from the plague several years ago, you have had permanent scarring on your lungs that has been noticeable when I have listened to your breathing. Today, that scarring seems to have disappeared.”

 

“How?” Gibbs asked.

 

“I cannot be certain without finding more information on this Experiment X,” Ducky said. “But I believe that, based upon their fondness for genetic alteration, they changed Tony’s DNA once again. There are certain species of lizard that can regenerate entire body parts, like a tail. If they used this ability and altered it slightly, we could see the spontaneous regeneration of damaged organ tissue, such as we have found in Tony.”

 

“Christ,” Gibbs murmured. “This can’t get out. In fact, most of what we have found can’t get out. At least not with Tony’s name connected to it.”

 

Ducky nodded sadly. “It would bring more harm than good, I am afraid.”

 

“I’d end up like a lab rat again,” Tony said with no small amount of horror. His breathing was becoming shallow again, and Gibbs reached out and hugged the younger man.

 

“It won’t happen,” Gibbs declared. “We’re going to conveniently lose some of the documents and no one will ever know that these guys were anything but insane sadists. I won’t let that happen to you.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Tony had been quiet for the rest of the afternoon and Gibbs was a little worried about him. When they reached the house that evening, Gibbs let them in and ushered Tony to the kitchen, where he grabbed two bottles of beer and then sat across the table from his younger agent.

 

“Talk to me,” Gibbs said and took a drink of his beer.

 

“I… I have so many questions,” Tony said. “About before.”

 

Gibbs was surprised. He had thought Tony’s silence had to do with Ducky’s news. “Ask. I’ll answer if I can.”

 

Tony sipped his beer and tried to put order to his jumbled mind. “Were we lovers?”

 

Gibbs paused mid sip and slowly lowered his beer. “What makes you ask?”

 

“The awards in my drawer,” Tony said with a shrug. “The TV in your living room. My toothbrush in your bathroom. The fact that you let me crawl in bed with you and you held me all night. The fact that you make me feel safe and warm when no one else seems to be able to do that.”

 

Gibbs said, “We weren’t lovers.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“The potential was there,” Gibbs went on. “We just never acted on it.”

 

“Why?” Tony asked curiously.

 

Gibbs got a rueful smile on his face. “Because I have these rules designed to keep me safe, and I passed them on to you.”

 

Tony closed his eyes and tilted his head back. Then he looked at Gibbs. “Rule twelve?”

 

“That’s the one,” Gibbs said. “But…”

 

“But?”

 

“But when you were gone, it felt like my heart had been torn out,” Gibbs said quietly. “I thought I had lost another person that I loved and I had never even told you. Hiding my feelings suddenly seemed like wasted time and useless effort.”

 

“I think I loved you too,” Tony mused. “I remembered the others, but it was your face that helped me survive.”

 

It was a surreal way for them to declare their feelings, but Gibbs thought it was the only way for them. He leaned across the table and pressed a soft, almost chaste kiss to Tony’s lips. “We should probably order something for dinner. Then you can ask me some more questions. I hope they aren’t all quite that emotionally draining. I’m not used to spilling my guts.”

 

Tony laughed. “I don’t think my other questions will be nearly as interesting.”

 

They spent the rest of the evening talking about Tony’s past over Chinese. Gibbs ordered everything that he knew Tony liked. When the subject turned to Tony’s family, he frowned.

 

“I don’t think I want to remember them,” Tony said. “I don’t remember enough to know why that is, but I just have this feeling that they are best left in the past.”

 

“You’re right about that,” Gibbs said. “But if you ever want to know, I’ll tell you what I’ve learned over the years.”

 

“Thanks,” Tony said. “Now tell me more about my time at Ohio State.”

 

They went to bed after eleven and Tony hesitated after brushing his teeth and changing into his boxers. Should he just go to Gibbs’ room, or try to sleep on his own?

 

“Get your ass in here so we can get some shut eye,” Gibbs called.

 

Tony smiled as he walked into Gibbs’ room and took his place on the right side of the bed. Gibbs reached out for him once again, and Tony went willingly into his arms. A soft kiss to the top of his head was Tony’s last moment of awareness before sleep settled over him.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Friday, September 19 th _

 

Gibbs awoke the next morning to find Tony watching him. “Good morning,” he mumbled sleepily.

 

“Good morning,” Tony said. He waited a beat and then, “Will you kiss me again?”

 

Gibbs chuckled. He didn’t bother to answer. Instead he reached up and pulled the younger man down to him. Their lips met and there was a moment of uncertainty between them before Tony’s lips began to move in response to Gibbs. The older man parted his lips and allowed his tongue to explore Tony’s lips before the younger man parted his lips as well. When their tongues met and danced, another dance began: the dance of electricity across their skin, heightening every sensation. Tony moaned and Gibbs rolled them so that he was lying atop the younger man. Their bodies moved in a synchronized rhythm as old as time. Their cocks pressed and rubbed together through their boxers. Gibbs reached down and shoved the offending cloth down so that they were molded together skin to skin. It didn’t take long for either of them to reach the precipice of their orgasm. When Tony used his powerful legs to press Gibbs tighter to himself, that was all it took to throw them each over the edge.

 

Slowly, they came down from their mutual high. Gibbs kissed Tony lightly once more and then began to sit up. “We have to get ready,” he said. “But that’s definitely something we should explore more later.”

 

Tony nodded his enthusiastic agreement. “Tonight.”

 

“Of course,” Gibbs smiled. “Let’s get ready for our run.”

 

They ran together again and then got ready for work. Though Tony was still officially on medical leave, Gibbs knew the younger man wasn’t ready to be left alone, so they both headed for the car and were soon at the Navy Yard.

 

“Ducky wants to test you again this morning,” Gibbs reminded Tony. “You want to go there and get that over with first?”

 

“Sure,” Tony said affably. They went down to the locker room and Tony dressed for his stress test while Gibbs talked on the cell phone with Tim.

 

“I’m a bit busy right now,” Gibbs was saying. “Can’t it wait?”

 

Tony felt guilty. He had been keeping Gibbs from doing his job properly by insisting the man stay with him all the time. “Um, I think maybe I’ll be okay as long as I’m with Ducky.”

 

Gibbs looked hard at Tony. “Are you sure?”

 

Tony pulled his sweats up and shrugged. “Not positive, but yeah, I think it will be okay. You won’t leave the building, and you’ll come back down to get me, though, right?”

 

“The team is off rotation until we get everything settled on this case,” Gibbs said. “I won’t go anywhere. And I’ll be back as soon as I finish talking with the director.” Tony nodded and Gibbs turned back to Tim on his cell. “Tell him I’ll be up in five minutes.”

 

Gibbs walked out to the gym with Tony and left him in Ducky’s capable hands before heading up to the director’s office. Not before noticing Tony’s last longing glance, however. In a way, he felt as unsettled about leaving Tony as he was sure Tony felt about him leaving. He hadn’t let the younger man out of his sight other than to go to the bathroom and that disastrous trip to autopsy since finding him in that cell, and he knew that there was a part of him that was afraid that as soon as he lost sight of Tony that the younger man would disappear again.

 

They had talked a lot about Tony’s past the evening before, but they hadn’t spoken about Gibbs’. There were reasons that Gibbs feared losing Tony that Tony didn’t know about after the amnesia. Gibbs thought that maybe it was time to talk about it with the younger man.

 

Tony, meanwhile, was looking at Ducky with trepidation that hadn’t been present the day before. “It’s okay, young Anthony. We are just going to do what we did yesterday. I’m sure that Jethro will return before we have even finished.”

 

Tony nodded tightly and allowed Ducky to begin the examination. “Why do you call him Jethro?”

 

Ducky chuckled even as he held the stethoscope to Tony’s chest. “It is his name, though few people use it. And only his father calls him Leroy these days.”

 

“Leroy?” Tony asked. It was odd, but as close as he felt to Gibbs there were still some very fundamental things that he did not know or remember.

 

“Leroy Jethro Gibbs,” Ducky said as he pulled out the small rubber hammer he used to test Tony’s reflexes. “He doesn’t really like his first name, however, and only his father uses it.”

 

Tony nodded. “What’s my full name Ducky?”

 

“Anthony Michael DiNozzo, Junior,” Ducky said with some sympathy. “You were named after your father.”

 

“I don’t think I like my father much,” Tony said. “Or he me. If he did, he’d be here, wouldn’t he?”

 

Ducky paused to look at Tony. “Yes, he would be. But you have long ago proved to yourself and the world that you are better than that man.”

 

“Thanks, Ducky,” Tony said with a small smile. “Why do we call you Ducky?”

 

Ducky smiled. “You are certainly full of questions today! Well, my name is Donald Mallard. Either of which certainly brings to mind a duck, so I have borne the appellation of Ducky since my school days.”

 

“Sorry if I’m being a pest,” Tony said.

 

“Not at all, my boy,” Ducky denied cheerfully. “I do not mind answering your questions. In fact, it is rather refreshing to have someone so eager to listen to my ramblings.”

 

They moved on to the eye and ear test and they had to put a hold on their conversation while they did. Once Tony moved to the treadmill, however, he listened to Ducky’s stories as he ran for a while and then his questions began again. “So, how did we meet?”

 

Ducky chuckled at the memory. “Well, Gibbs had been working without a permanent team for a while. When we got a call from Baltimore PD about a dead sailor, the two of us headed up there. It was snowing terribly that day, but we found this young and eager detective standing guard over the body. You. When Gibbs approached you, I think something clicked almost immediately. Rather than dismissing you, as he does most local LEOs, he began treating you like one of his team. Teaching you in his gruff manor. I observed your interactions at the scene before taking the body back here and thought that you just might be coming here permanently.

 

“The investigation was mostly in Baltimore, so you’ll have to ask Jethro for details if you are interested,” Ducky told him. “We didn’t officially meet until two weeks after that, when Gibbs brought you on a tour for your first day of work at NCIS. I knew I liked you right away. Not only had you charmed Gibbs, but you were polite enough to listen to my often long-winded stories.”

 

“Was I a good agent?” Tony asked. Ducky noted that his heart rate remained a steady 130 and he hadn’t even begun to breathe hard, despite the fact that they had increased the speed and incline to the max more than thirty minutes before.

 

“Gibbs would not have made you his senior agent if you were not,” Ducky said. “A little unconventional at times, but you were very good at your job.”

 

“Best agent I’ve ever worked with,” Gibbs said, startling Ducky.

 

“Jethro!” Ducky gasped. “If you could please refrain from giving me a heart attack!”

 

“Sorry Duck,” Gibbs said, though his tone was unapologetic and amused. “What are we talking about?”

 

“Tony was just wondering how we all met,” Ducky said.

 

“Dead sailor in Baltimore,” Gibbs said. “Do you remember what Tony was doing when we arrived on the scene, Ducky?”

 

Ducky shook his head. “Besides standing in the cold? Not really.”

 

“What was I doing?” Tony asked. His breathing and heart rate were finally beginning to increase slowly.

 

“You were flirting with a redheaded girl,” Gibbs said and smiled at the memory. “I called you over to reprimand you for flirting while you should have been doing something productive. Your response was a wide smile and then you began rattling off all the information you had been able to charm out of the girl, the only witness we had. Then I got a good look at what you had done with the scene. You had begun processing the evidence and had already marked off all of the blood drops without contaminating the scene or the body. You once said you were hired because of your smile, but it was that smile and what you could do with it combined with your aptitude that got you the job. It became obvious pretty quickly that you were more than just a pretty face.”

 

“Still am,” Tony said smugly.

 

Gibbs chuckled. “Yes, you are. So, as we worked the case, I watched you work. You had strong instincts for investigating, almost as strong as mine. And you knew more about dealing with people than I could ever hope to know. You were hell bent on proving to me and to yourself that you could solve that case. So I hired you and trained you to be my Senior Agent. And I always expected that someday you’d take over the team.”

 

Tony nodded, though he didn’t respond right away. “Thanks.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**_Part 5_ **

 

_Wednesday, September 24 th _

 

After an extra long weekend recuperating from the months-long search for Tony, Tim and Ziva continued to scrutinize the documents they had found at the warehouse and each of the homes of the abductors. There were things in those files that made Tim’s skin crawl, but Ziva seemed to be completely unaffected. He wondered what atrocities in her past could have hardened her to realities like this. He had a difficult time processing any of the things in those files, let alone knowing that many of them had been done to his friend and colleague.

 

“McGee,” Ziva called softly. “Come take a look at this.”

 

McGee got up from his desk and went to hers. He took the file and read the part she pointed out. “There was another location. We need to show this to Gibbs. He’ll want to check it out.”

 

Ziva shook her head. “He will not be able to go with Tony glued to his side the way he is right now. Call him, but I believe that you and I will be left to check this out.”

 

Tim had to silently agree with her assessment of the situation even as he picked up the phone to fill Gibbs in on this latest development. He couldn’t quite understand why Tony was clinging to Gibbs, nor could he understand why Gibbs was allowing it, but the meeting with the director that morning had been the first time he had seen Gibbs without Tony since the rescue. Whatever the reasons, Tim knew that it would be some time before their team would recover from this case.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

“We found more files and computers,” Ziva reported. “They are being unloaded downstairs. We also found evidence that there may be others involved in this group that were not previously revealed.”

 

“Some of them are rather high profile in the scientific community,” Tim added. He looked around the bullpen and noticed that Gibbs was alone. “Where’s Tony?”

 

“Down with Abby,” Gibbs said. “Get on those new files and the computers McGee. David, I want you gathering evidence on these other scientists. I want to know exactly what their involvement was in this whole thing.”

 

They set to work and Gibbs went back to reviewing the information they had gathered thus far. He was looking for more information on this Experiment X. He had a feeling in his gut that there were more surprises to come and he wanted to be as prepared for them as he could be.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Tony watched as Abby methodically processed the various evidence bags that Ziva had dropped off just moments ago. He knew that there had been a time when he would have known what to do to help her—at least with logging the evidence, if not running tests. Now, he was useless. He wondered if he would ever feel useful again. Physically, he was near perfect thanks to his captors. Mentally and emotionally, he was a complete wreck and he wondered if he would ever recover.

 

“None of that, Mister,” Abby scolded from her place beside her computer. “No negative thoughts allowed.”

 

“Abby…”

 

“I don’t want to hear it,” Abby said seriously. “You are alive and back with us. I won’t let you mope about some minor difficulties after everything else. So your memory is gone. Either it’ll come back in its own time or it won’t. Either way, you are still loved. So you can’t do your job right now. Either you’ll come back to work here or you won’t. Either way, you are still a very important person to a lot of people. Give yourself time to heal, Tony. It’s only been a couple days.”

 

Tony nodded. He knew that. He knew that the team, especially Gibbs and Abby, cared for him. He just wished he could do something besides watch everyone else work. “Sorry Abby. You’re right. I have no reason to feel sorry for myself. So, tell me what I can do to help.”

 

Abby smiled and leaned up to kiss Tony’s cheek. “I’ll read off the bag number and contents and you check to see if it matches the list. Then I’ll show you how to begin sorting through the evidence.”

 

“That’s going to have to wait until tomorrow,” Gibbs said, startling Abby. “Tony has an appointment with the agency psychologist. Director’s orders.”

 

Tony visibly deflated. “I don’t want to talk to a shrink. She’ll just tell me I’m crazy.”

 

“You aren’t crazy,” Gibbs said. “You’ve been through a very traumatic experience and are suffering the after-effects. And maybe she’ll have some ideas how to get you past this.”

 

Tony sighed and straightened up. “Okay. I guess it won’t hurt too much to talk to her.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Talking with the shrink was more painful than Tony had been prepared for. The fact that she made Gibbs wait outside made it especially hard. “Why can’t Gibbs be here?” Tony asked fearfully as he picked at the fabric of the sofa where he sat. The woman was wearing a lab coat, which was adding to his anxiety.

 

“These sessions are private,” the woman, Dr. Jennings, said.

 

“How private?” Tony asked with a touch of belligerence born out of his distress. “Because NCIS pays you, and I kind of think that you’ll be passing on a report to the director about this session.”

 

Dr. Jennings frowned. “I will report my findings to the director, but he will not know the specifics of our conversation. Is there a reason you are feeling so argumentative?”

 

Tony glared at her. “Yes.”

 

She waited expectantly, but Tony refused to elaborate. “Well?”

 

Tony shrugged and refused to talk any more.

 

“Agent DiNozzo,” Dr, Jennings said and Tony thought her voice was a bit shrill. “If you do not cooperate with me, I will be forced to inform the director of your antagonism.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“You most certainly are being hostile!” Dr. Jennings argued.

 

“I’m not Agent DiNozzo,” Tony said. “I’m not Agent anything. I’m just Tony, who used to be Agent DiNozzo. So if this is about evaluating me for active duty, it’s a waste of time. Until I’m Agent DiNozzo again, this all a waste of time.”

 

“Why did you come here if you believed it would be a waste of time?” the woman demanded.

 

“Because, silly me, I thought you wanted to help me,” Tony growled. “I thought you had my welfare in mind, but that’s obviously a lie. So if we’re finished here, I’ll be going.” Tony stood up and walked to the door with the doctor close on his heels. He felt her trying to keep him still, but ignored her like a horse ignores a fly. She was more an annoyance than anything.

 

Gibbs looked up from the magazine he had been pretending to read when the office door opened not five minutes after it had closed. Tony walked out, with the doctor grabbing at him like she thought she could physically restrain him from leaving.

 

“Excuse me, Dr. Jennings, but what in the _hell_ do you think you are doing?” Gibbs barked, gaining the attention of the doctor.

 

Slowly realizing that she had completely lost control of the situation and her professionalism, the doctor blanched. “I… I was… Oh my god!”

 

“What happened, Tony?” Gibbs asked the younger man, who was now standing meekly beside him.

 

“She made you leave,” Tony said. “I didn’t want to be alone with her, but she doesn’t care about that. This isn’t about helping me. It’s about the agency covering their asses. I want to leave.”

 

Gibbs looked at the doctor who was still panting and trying to regain her composure. She was wearing a lab coat and had obviously not listened to a single word of the report he had given about Tony’s ordeal. “Dr. Jennings, I would like to have a word with you. In private. Tony, wait here. I’ll just be a minute. Okay?”

 

Tony nodded and sat down. Gibbs motioned for the doctor to precede him into her office. Tony couldn’t hear exactly what Gibbs was saying, but he could tell that he was pissed off. He watched the doctor’s secretary cringe as words like moron and unqualified bitch filtered through the thick walls. Tony grinned.

 

Minutes later, Gibbs exited the office and motioned for Tony that he was ready to go. Tony caught a glimpse of the doctor sobbing on her sofa and nodded. He was more than ready to leave.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

“Gibbs! What the hell were you thinking?” the director shouted. They had returned to NCIS only to be met by Director Leon Vance just outside the elevator. Tony, too shaken up by his experience with the shrink had refused to let Gibbs leave him with anyone and so now he sat in the director’s office while the man railed at Gibbs. “You cannot go around making the agency psychologist cry because she hurt DiNozzo’s feelings!”

 

“She was trying to physically restrain him from leaving her office,” Gibbs said angrily. “She ignored everything that I told her about his situation and not only barred me from the room, but proceeded to wear a lab coat while she **_interrogated_** him, despite the fact that I **_told_** her that he has a phobia about medical doctors. She deserved to be taken down a peg. And Leon, Tony will **_not_** be going back to her!”

 

“Then what do you suggest we do?” Vance asked with a tired sigh. He hadn’t realized that the doctor was quite that incompetent.

 

“I’ll find someone who is qualified to help him,” Gibbs said. “Someone who specializes in treating survivors of trauma. And you and this agency will stay the hell out of it.”

 

“He’s still my agent,” the director argued.

 

“That’s not true,” Tony said quietly. The other two turned to him. “I just mean, I don’t remember being an agent. I don’t remember being anything. I’m not the same person who worked here. I’m not sure I can be.”

 

“Put him on disability, Leon,” Gibbs said. “At least until we see if this amnesia is permanent.”

 

“He’s not physically injured,” Vance argued.

 

“Yes he is,” Gibbs contradicted. “His memory loss is a direct result of the drugs that those bastards gave him. That’s physical. It’s also mental impairment. Leon, you need to stop thinking about how this will look for the agency and deal with what is best for your agents. Give him the damn disability and let us deal with getting him better.”

 

The director sighed and sat back in his chair. “Fine. I’ll sign off on early retirement citing injury in the line of duty. Make sure that Ducky is willing to sign off as well. If, at some point in the future, DiNozzo wants to return to active duty, we will reevaluate the situation.”

 

“Thank you,” Gibbs said. “Ducky will sign off; we’ve already discussed it.”

 

“And have you discussed this with DiNozzo?” Vance asked, looking pointedly at the younger man who had yet to say a word.

 

Tony looked up at him with a frown. “I trust Gibbs. I’ll do what he thinks is best.”

 

“I’m his medical and legal proxy,” Gibbs said quietly. “Until he’s emotionally ready to make these sorts of decisions for himself, I’m making them for him.”

 

The director looked back and forth between the two men and frowned as he chewed his toothpick. Had something changed? There was something different in the way they interacted that was more than could be explained away by Tony’s amnesia. He noticed the way Tony leaned towards Gibbs as if seeking silent support and then he noticed the way Gibbs turned to him with a light in his eyes that he had never seen before. Oh. Oh my. Well, that **_was_** new. And it was probably best that Tony was retiring if that was the case. He had no desire to address **_that_** particular issue with Gibbs.

 

“Good luck,” Vance finally said. “I do hope that you’ll recover fully, DiNozzo. And I’m sorry for the mix up today.”

 

Tony nodded and rose, following Gibbs out of the office, leaving a bemused director behind.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**_Part 6_ **

 

_Wednesday, September 24 th_

 

“So if I’m on disability, what am I going to do with my time?” Tony wondered as he cooked dinner later that evening. Gibbs had started to cook spaghetti, but Tony took over before the older man could do more than pull out a jar of pasta sauce. Tony’s memory might be gone, but he still knew some things, and how to make decent tomato gravy was among them. It had to be his Italian genes coming through.

 

“Well, you’ll be starting your sessions with Dr. Ramos tomorrow,” Gibbs said. “That will take up some time. And until you feel comfortable being on your own again, you’ll come to work with me. You can relearn the job if you want. Or you can start looking into other options. Maybe the doctor will have some ideas.”

 

“This one had better let you into the session,” Tony said stubbornly. “Or I’m turning around and leaving again.”

 

Gibbs chuckled. He could see Tony doing just that. “She’s already agreed to let me stay. I talked to her on the phone for a while this afternoon. And she was supposed to call and speak with Ducky as well, since he’s serving as your primary physician. Don’t worry. Dr. Ramos specializes in treating trauma cases. I’m sure she’ll have some good ideas where we can go from here.”

 

Tony nodded even as he poured sauce over the two plates of pasta and carried them to the table where Gibbs was waiting. They ate in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. There was no need to make idle chatter. They were each free to enjoy the food and explore their thoughts without being alone. Tony rather thought this was the way people who had been married for forty years might eat a meal.

 

“You going to work on the boat tonight?” Tony asked as they cleaned up the dishes after they had finished eating.

 

“Not tonight,” Gibbs said. “I’m pretty sure I made a promise to you this morning.”

 

Tony’s face lit up with pleasure and anticipation. “I hadn’t forgotten. I’m glad you didn’t either.”

 

Gibbs hesitated while he dried a pot and put it away in the cupboard beside the stove. “Are you going to be okay with this? I mean, you don’t remember before. And—as often as you bragged about your female conquests—you’ve never told me if you had any experiences with men.”

 

Tony smiled ruefully. “It’ll be my first time in memory. Virgin or not, though, I know you’ll make it good for me. I trust you LJ.”

 

“LJ, huh?” Gibbs smirked. He was more pleased with Tony’s response than he could say, so he changed the subject to safer areas.

 

“Yeah, Ducky told me your name is Leroy Jethro Gibbs,” Tony said. “I’ve always thought of you as Gibbs, but that seems too impersonal now. And only your dad calls you Leroy and I’m not sure I want to call you Jethro. So LJ.”

 

Gibbs leaned over Tony’s shoulder and kissed his neck. “I like it.”

 

Tony groaned. “Mmmm. I like what you’re doing to me.”

 

“Then let’s go to bed,” Gibbs said as he hung up his towel and took Tony’s from his hands. Once their hands were free, Gibbs took Tony’s hand in his and led him to the stairs. Once in the bedroom, Gibbs took Tony into his arms and kissed him hard. “One last time, are you sure this is what you want? Because once I have you, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let go.”

 

“I don’t want you to let go,” Tony said. “You’re my rock and I’m going to cling to you like my life depends on it. I think maybe it does and always has. I want this. I want you.”

 

Gibbs nodded and kissed Tony again before slowly beginning to remove both of their clothes between kisses. His mouth moved on to Tony’s exposed collar as soon as the younger man’s shirt was gone. Then, when their pants were gone, Gibb’s mouth moved even lower. It was obvious that Tony was nervous, but it was just as obvious that he want this. His moans and gasps were enough to tell anyone that he wanted this.

 

Gibbs straightened up and moved Tony to the bed. Once the younger man was sprawled out below him, Gibbs continued his exploration with his hands, his lips and his teeth. He noted every touch that made Tony squirm. He remembered each kiss that elicited a moan. He marked every nibble that had Tony’ arching into Gibbs’ ministrations.

 

“Please!” Tony begged, not entirely sure what he was begging for, but sure that Gibbs would know.

 

Gibbs moved back up Tony’s body and they began to thrust against each other they way they had that morning until Tony was sure he was going to come. “No! I want… Please.”

 

Gibbs kissed Tony again and reached for the bedside table. Lubricant was fetched and soon Tony was writhing at a completely new sensation. Fingers gently stretched and teased and stroked against a bundle of nerves inside of Tony, bringing shivers of delight along with perspiration from the building tension in his body. It might have lasted minutes or hours so lost was Tony in the feelings Gibbs was eliciting.

 

When the next step came, he almost didn’t notice. Gibbs had shifted them both, placing a pillow below Tony’s hips and putting his legs over Gibbs’ shoulders. Then something wider than fingers was breaching him and it hurt and Tony cringed with unexpected pain. Gibbs stopped and Tony could see his chest rise and fall and hear the older man’s harsh breathing. Then Gibbs began to gently rock his hips, getting a little deeper with each inward thrust and it still hurt but it wasn’t as bad and then it didn’t hurt anymore as Gibbs finally pressed against that bundle of nerves again and Tony almost screamed.

 

After that, there was a haze of rocking and thrusting and sobs of pleasure. There was the sound of skin slapping and moans of pleasure and cries of frustration until Gibbs took Tony’s cock in hand and began to stroke it even as he continued thrusting his own cock deep into Tony’s now-eager entrance. Then there were cries of triumph and the feeling of falling.

 

It was a lifetime later when Gibbs rolled to the side and pulled Tony into his arms. “You okay?”

 

Tony chuckled a bit breathlessly. “I don’t remember ever being better.”

 

Gibbs laughed and tightened his hold on the younger man. “We should get some sleep. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

 

“You going to wake me up early for another round?” Tony asked cheekily. “Because I don’t think I’d mind that.”

 

“We’ll see,” Gibbs said indulgently and kissed Tony’s neck before settling in to sleep.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Thursday, September 25 th_

 

They were later than usual the next morning. Partly because Tony wanted to stop some place to pick up donuts for the team and partly because Gibbs had fucked him through the mattress again before they had ever left the bedroom. Tony had a sappy grin on his face and nothing Gibbs said would wipe the damn thing away.

 

Ziva frowned as soon as Tony appeared in the bullpen. “That is your I-had-sex face.”

 

Tony offered her the box of donuts and smiled at her. “I wouldn’t know.”

 

Ziva took a cinnamon and sugar coated cider donut and sat back in her seat as she watched Tony move over to McGee’s desk.

 

McGee grabbed a chocolate frosted and looked up at Tony. “Thanks. She’s right. That’s the same face you always had whenever you had gotten lucky. Then you would regale us all with stories of your magnificent conquest.”

 

Tony shrugged and walked away. He had donuts to deliver.

 

While Tony fended off more inquiries from Abby and Ducky, Gibbs was left to face Ziva and McGee’s inquisitive glances. With a deep sigh of annoyance, he stood up from his desk and told McGee to get everyone to Abby’s lab. He went to the elevator with both Ziva and McGee on his heels. Abby was already in the lab and had both a strawberry frosted donut and a knowing smirk on her face. Gibbs sighed and tried to rub the oncoming headache from his temples.

 

“I made it nine steps into autopsy this time, LJ,” Tony announced as he and Ducky entered the room. He was eating a glazed donut and still had that silly grin on his face.

 

Gibbs smiled for the first time since they had arrived at NCIS. “That’s great Tony. See. Small steps and you’ll be better before you know it.”

 

“So what’s up, Bossman?” Abby asked, though she thought she knew why they had been brought together.

 

Gibbs looked around the room and his eyes settled on Tony. Gibbs raised his eyebrows and Tony seemed to think for a moment before nodding. Then Gibbs turned back to face the others. “The answer to the question running through all of your heads is yes. Having said that, we would appreciate if you could keep that to yourselves for a while. If Tony does come back as an agent, it might make things difficult if it became public knowledge.”

 

Abby squealed and hugged Tony and then Gibbs. “I’m so happy for you!”

 

While Abby made a little speech about how she had known all along that it would happen, without ever actually saying what “it” was, Tony watched the others. Ziva and McGee seemed unsurprised and accepting. Ducky, on the other hand, seemed to have swallowed something the wrong way.

 

Gibbs had obviously noticed his response as well. “Ducky?”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Ducky said. “I do wish you both well. It is just….”

 

“What?’ Tony asked feeling a bit of anxiety trying to overpower his good mood.

 

“Timothy and Ziva found the files pertaining to Experiment X yesterday afternoon,” Ducky said. “I spent much of the night going over those records, and…”

 

“Spit it out, Duck,” Gibbs ordered, feeling his own anxiety levels increasing.

 

Ducky looked pointedly at the others present. Tony shrugged and nodded for the doctor to go on. The others knew all about his medical condition because of the investigation. Why worry about privacy now?

 

Ducky swallowed. “The experiment’s primary focus was not to induce regeneration as we had supposed.”

 

“Then what?” Gibbs asked.

 

“I’m getting to that,” Ducky snapped, feeling a bit agitated himself. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. “My apologies. The regeneration was a step in the process, one which allowed them to transplant certain organs into Tony and have his body not only accept them, but behave as though they had always been a part of him.”

 

“What sort of organs?” McGee asked what they were all wondering.

 

“Reproductive organs,” Ducky sighed.

 

“I already had those,” Tony said with confusion.

 

“You had **_male_** reproductive organs,” Ducky corrected. There was silence for a long time as the group tried to process the implications of that statement. Eventually, Ducky continued. “They wanted to see if it was possible to create what is in essence a true hermaphrodite with the ability to reproduce as either gender. According to the tests that they ran, they were successful in the first stages of the experiment.”

 

“Which were?” Ziva asked.

 

“They began with the regenerative DNA of a certain lizard, as we suspected,” Ducky said. “Then they found ways to control the estrogen production so that the levels will only begin to increase if a fetus is gestating. Next was a series of surgeries where the actual organs were introduced into Tony’s body. The final stage, the one where the external sex would be created, was the only step that was not completed. However, they tested a back up plan which allows for fertilization to occur through anal sex as well.”

 

“How?” Abby asked eagerly, too excited by the science to note the impact that this was having on Tony.

 

“The anal walls are very thin and the cells are able to penetrate—”

 

“You two can discuss the finer details later,” Gibbs barked, seeing Tony’s pale face.

 

“We…” Tony stopped and took several deep breaths. “Are you sure about this? I mean… couldn’t those files be talking about Subject 1? Or something else completely?”

 

Ducky shook his head sadly. “There was no evidence of this sort of experimentation on the Marine who was found. And the documentation was quite clear. We can do tests to confirm, but I do believe that they were as accurate on the records for this experiment as they have been on the others. I’m sorry, Anthony.”

 

“Okay,” Gibbs said quietly. “None of this leaves this room. Ducky, you know what to do with those records. Tim and Ziva, make sure that all references to this experiment are erased from every document and every file. We don’t need it to make a case against these guys. In fact, as far as we are concerned none of the experiments that they performed on Tony were successful according to the tests we have run since his return. When this goes to court, I don’t want every government agency breathing down Tony’s back to use him in their own experiments. And this last one… well, it goes no further than these four walls. Don’t talk about it between yourselves. Don’t mention it at NCIS at all. Understood?”

 

There were general murmurs of agreement before Ziva and McGee were dismissed and Abby sent off to her office. When only Ducky, Gibbs and Tony were left, they stood in silence for a time.

 

“We’ll need you to test Tony,” Gibbs said.

 

Ducky’s brows rose. “You did not use protection?”

 

Gibbs glared. “We’re both clean and not about to go around fucking other people. And until ten minutes ago, I never would have imagined that there would ever be another reason a condom would be necessary!”

 

“It may be too soon to know for sure,” Ducky warned.

 

“How soon can we be sure?” Tony asked.

 

Ducky relented. “I can test you now, but we won’t be able to rely on a negative outcome for at least 48 hours. But if it is positive, it might show up earlier.”

 

“Let’s do the test,” Tony said.

 

Ducky sighed and led them out of the lab and down to autopsy. Tony and Gibbs waited outside, not feeling strong enough to deal with his phobia just then. Ducky came out with a pregnancy test and handed it to Tony.

 

“This is the same sort of early test that can be bought at any pharmacy,” Ducky explained. “I keep some in stock for our female agents who aren’t sure when they come to me for a physical or some other issue that they don’t want to go to their regular doctor for. Just pee on the stick and wait five minutes. If the indicator turns blue, it is positive.”

 

“Thanks Duck,” Gibbs said and pulled Tony down the hall to a private restroom. He locked the door behind them.

 

Tony practically collapsed into Gibbs’ arms the moment the door was locked. “What are we going to do? I don’t… What if… God!”

 

Gibbs stroked Tony’s back and murmured soothing words until Tony had calmed down some. “First of all, I’ll tell you what we aren’t going to do: we aren’t going to panic; we aren’t going to speculate about what might or might not be a reality until we know the results of this test; and we aren’t going to decide anything while we’re running high on emotions. Okay?”

 

Tony nodded and straightened up a bit. “Okay. No freaking out or speculating until after we take the test.”

 

Gibbs chuckled. “No freaking out after either. We’re in this together—whatever happens. Now go pee on that stick thing and I’ll set my watch alarm for five minutes.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**_Part 7_ **

 

_Tuesday, September 23rd_

 

They opened the door twenty minutes later to find four familiar faces trying to look like they weren’t waiting for them to come out of the bathroom. There were a few heartbeats of awkward silence while Tony and Gibbs tried to make sense of their unexpected presence.

 

“Well?” Abby finally asked, too impatient to wait any longer. “How did it turn out?”

 

Gibbs raised his eyebrow but Tony laughed. Gibbs was rather heartened by that chuckle since Tony had really taken the news hard. They had spent the last fifteen minutes of their time in the bathroom just talking. Gibbs assured Tony that he didn’t think he was a freak because he had female parts, even ones that weren’t visible. Gibbs had assured Tony that he loved him no matter what. Even those assurances, however, hadn’t been enough to remove the haunted look from Tony’s eyes. Now, one question from Abby and Tony was coming back to his old resilient self.

 

“It was positive,” Gibbs said quietly.

 

“Wow,” McGee said on a whisper.

 

“Mazal tov?” Ziva said with a small uncertain smile.

 

“Yes!” Abby said as she rushed over and hugged Tony tightly. “This is going to be so great! Just you wait! You are going to be a great daddy! And I’m going to be this baby’s favorite auntie!”

 

“Of course you are,” Tony said as he patted her back and looked desperately at Gibbs.

 

“Okay, Abby,” Gibbs said as he gently pulled the Goth away from Tony. “Why don’t you all give us some time to talk with Ducky? Remember, none of this can be talked about for Tony’s safety.”

 

They all agreed and reluctantly left Gibbs and Tony with Ducky. “Maybe we should wait and discuss this somewhere a little less public,” Ducky suggested as the elevator doors opened and one of the agents from another team stepped out.

 

“Good idea,” Gibbs agreed. “Tony and I are going to his psych appointment in a few minutes. I think we’ll probably head home after that. Why don’t you come to the house once you’ve finished up here. I’ll cook dinner.”

 

Ducky nodded and went to meet with the agent who was waiting for him impatiently by the autopsy doors.

 

“Let’s get out of here,” Gibbs said and Tony heartily agreed.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Tony’s first appointment with the psychologist was draining. Not because she did anything to make him feel uncomfortable—unlike the last shrink, she didn’t wear a lab coat, allowed Gibbs to stay with him, and actually seemed to be concerned with how Tony was coping—but because talking about everything that had happened, everything that had been done to Tony, was hard for both he and Gibbs. They told her everything, relying on her to keep their secrets. Gibbs’ gut told him she was trustworthy.

 

“So Tony,” Dr. Ramos said. “How do you feel about all this?”

 

Tony shook his head and grabbed Gibbs’ hand. “Overwhelmed. There are so many decisions to make and so many changes to cope with and the fact that I still don’t remember… well, anything…”

 

“That’s not true,” Gibbs argued as he squeezed Tony’s hand. “You’ve begun remembering some small things. Ducky thinks there’s a chance you’ll continue to regain some of your memories.”

 

“A small fraction of them,” Tony countered. “And even if I remember more, I’m not sure I’m ever going to want to go back to the life I had before. I mean, I have panic attacks around doctors and hospitals. Loud noises make me cringe with fear. Even if I get all of my memories back, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to be a field agent again. I’m too fucking scared.”

 

“What are you afraid of?” Dr. Ramos asked. “Is it that you won’t be able to do your job properly or that you will be hurt again?”

 

“Both,” Tony sighed. “I mean, if I panic in the field, I could put the entire team in jeopardy. I don’t want to do that. But, I’m also afraid of being hurt again. I mean, from the stories I’ve been told, I was like a walking target even before I was abducted. I had the plague, was captured more than once, had multiple injuries, and now this. I just don’t know if I can face going back to putting my life on the line again.”

 

“You don’t have to,” Gibbs said. “But I don’t think you should give up just yet, when you’ve only been free for a couple days.”

 

“He’s right,” Dr. Ramos said. “Tony, you said that there are a lot of decisions that have to be made, but they don’t all have to be made right now. You have time to work through some of this and figure out what you want and what will make you happy. You have time to heal and relearn the things you have lost. You have time to discover who this new Tony is. The only decision that cannot wait for very long is the one concerning the baby.”

 

Tony nodded. “We’ve talked a little bit about it.”

 

“And what did you talk about?”

 

“I’m not a man anymore,” Tony blurted out.

 

Gibbs snorted. “I can definitely refute that statement. And I have”

 

Tony glared at him. “Fine. I’m not **_just_** a man anymore. I’m also partly a woman. That freaks me the **_fuck_** out. And this baby… well, right now it’s just a representation of how much of a freak those people turned me into. I know that’s not completely true, but that’s how I feel.”

 

Gibbs was quiet and distant when he spoke. “Do you want to get rid of it?” He knew that it was Tony’s right and he wasn’t sure that in Tony’s place he wouldn’t feel the same. But… But Gibbs had already lost one child and the thought of losing another by choice, even if that child was still nothing more than a blob of cells, seemed wrong. Very wrong.

 

Tony was quiet as he thought about Gibbs’ words. Since reading the test result, he had only thought about how this was affecting him, his body, his masculinity. But even as he railed against the unfairness of his situation he hadn’t considered the possibility of terminating the pregnancy. What did that mean?

 

“No.” Tony’s voice was barely above a whisper. “As scared and pissed off and confused as I am, I don’t think I could ever do that. It’s a part of you and me. How could I… kill that?”

 

“Okay,” Gibbs said and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He pulled Tony into his arms and held him there. “Okay then. So we work through this like we work through everything. One step at a time.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

The rest of the session went quickly. Dr. Ramos gave Tony several tests to work on to assess his basic knowledge and asked him to begin keeping a journal recording both his triumphs and his frustrations. She told them that she wanted to do some tests on Tony during their next session to see how his short and long term memories were functioning. She also gave him a book on coping with amnesia to read. Finally, she showed Tony some breathing exercises to try to control the panic attacks that were sure to continue for some time.

 

There was silence in the car on the way back to the house. Both Tony and Gibbs were too busy thinking about everything that they had said to concentrate on useless conversations. The silence continued once at the house while Gibbs cooked and Tony helped by making the salad, broken only by terse questions and simple directions. When the doorbell rang, Tony went to answer it without a word.

 

“Good evening, Anthony,” Ducky said with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

 

Tony snorted. “I’ve had better days. And worse days I’m sure, though I can’t seem to remember them right now. Come into the kitchen. Dinner’s just about ready.”

 

Ducky followed Tony to the kitchen where the table was set for three and Gibbs was just setting out grilled pork chops, mashed sweet potatoes and asparagus. There were three glasses of juice rather than the beer that Ducky would normally have expected, and he smiled. Small talk reigned while they all seated themselves and served themselves from the dishes. It wasn’t until a silence fell over the three men that Ducky brought up the subject of the pregnancy.

 

“So, have the two of you had a chance to discuss the pregnancy?” Ducky asked gently.

 

“We talked a bit with the psychologist,” Tony admitted. “And we decided that an abortion isn’t an option. Other than that, I don’t think I even know enough to know what questions I should be asking.”

 

“If we do this, Duck, how do we keep it a secret?” Gibbs asked. “He won’t be able to go to a hospital without someone finding out, and since they didn’t finish the job, he can’t have the baby without surgery.”

 

Ducky nodded and said, “I have given this some thought. I have a friend who runs an obstetrics clinic. They specialize in home births, much like the old midwives of generations past, and they are fully equipped for c-sections and any other potential complications at the clinic. I believe that Belinda would be willing to not only help us out, but keep quiet about it. She is a very intelligent and compassionate person.”

 

Gibbs looked at Tony. “What do you think?”

 

“We’re going to have to trust someone,” Tony sighed. “It might as well be someone that Ducky recommends.”

 

“Alright,” Gibbs said decisively. “Set up a time for her to come check Tony out.”

 

“Good,” Ducky said with relief. “I would have done my best had you asked me to do so, but I am not really qualified to see you through this pregnancy. Now, on to other concerns. How are you feeling? Any nausea or fatigue?”

 

Tony shook his head. “Nothing. If I hadn’t peed on that stick I wouldn’t have any clue.”

 

“Well, it is very early yet,” Ducky nodded. “You will both need to be prepared for that eventuality. Also, you’ll need to begin thinking about the fact that eventually Tony will begin to show. Possibly sooner than a woman because men have less body fat. For a while, you will be able to pass it off as a beer gut, but eventually, it will mean staying out of public.”

 

“Right,” Tony sighed. “Right now, I can’t go anywhere without LJ.”

 

“If that doesn’t change, I’ll gladly stay home for a few months,” Gibbs said. “But you are already taking steps towards regaining your independence. You have spent hours away from me when you’ve been with Abby or Ducky. I expect that you will continue to get better between now and the time when you’ll need to hide away.”

 

“Dr. Ramos seems to think I’m coping rather well,” Tony told Ducky. “She thinks that I’ve coped with everything better than can be expected and she said I shouldn’t get down on myself when I don’t improve as fast as I think I should.”

 

“Smart woman,” Ducky said with a smile as he finished his dinner and pushed his plate away. “This was absolutely delicious. You’ll need to keep an eye on how much junk food you eat from now on. Meals like this one should be the norm; well balanced and healthy.”

 

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. “Even though I served pork?”

 

“Meat, of any kind, is good for us,” Ducky said. “As long as it is limited to lean cuts and a reasonable portion. Pork and ground meats should be well cooked any time, but especially given Tony’s condition.”

 

“Good to know,” Gibbs said.

 

“I’m going to start doing more of the cooking,” Tony said. “I did okay with the pasta I made the other day, so LJ thinks I should be able to handle using a cookbook to make some things.”

 

The rest of the evening was spent talking about more mundane things, and when Ducky finally left, Gibbs and Tony went to bed together. They didn’t discuss the baby any more that night, but it was on both of their minds as they drifted off to sleep.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Monday, September 29 th _

 

Friday came and went and the new couple spent the weekend enjoying their time together without allowing the realities of their life to interfere. They broke Tony’s lease and closed up the apartment, putting anything they didn’t need in the storage and utility room just off Gibbs’ work room in the basement. Both Tony and Gibbs were surprised that Tony had a very expensive Kawai digital upright piano tucked away in his bedroom at the apartment. They brought it to the house and set it up in the dining room. Once they had settled where everything else would go, Tony watched Gibbs work on the boat. Then Gibbs watched two of the videos they had just unpacked with Tony. It was simple and it was peaceful. But it didn’t resolve any of the worries or fears that either man had. It did, however, give them time to really understand how they felt about everything.

 

“I think you should leave me home,” Tony said on Monday morning after their run.

 

Gibbs, who was still towel drying his hair looked surprised. “Why? I didn’t think you were ready for that.”

 

Tony shrugged and pulled a sweatshirt over his head. “I just think that I need to try. You’ll come back if I need you, right?”

 

Gibbs nodded. “I will always come if you need me. But maybe we should get someone to stay with you for this first time?”

 

Tony pulled his jeans over his hips and seemed to think about that. “No. I don’t think that will make any difference. I’m not afraid to be alone anymore. I’m afraid to be away from you. Having someone here won’t change anything. I just need to confront this and see how I do. I mean, that’s what you and Ducky told me I should do about the whole autopsy thing, right?”

 

“Right,” Gibbs agreed reluctantly. “But it will take a lot longer for me to get back here than it does for you to leave autopsy when you get panicky.”

 

Tony sighed. “I know. Maybe this was a bad idea. If you don’t think I can do it…”

 

“I didn’t say that,” Gibbs said as he walked over to Tony and wrapped his arms around the younger man. “I think you are very brave and strong. I think you can do anything you set your mind to do. But you have to pace yourself and not try to do everything at once. I’ll go, but I want your word that as soon as you start to feel panicked that you will call me.”

 

Tony rested his head on Gibbs’ shoulder and said. “I promise. I don’t like the panic attacks any more than you do.”

 

A half hour later, Gibbs kissed Tony goodbye at the door and Tony watched his lover get into his car and drive away. Already he could feel the sense of foreboding start to creep through him. He refused to allow it to win, however, so he shut and locked the door and went to the kitchen to clean up the dishes from breakfast.

 

As long as he stayed busy, Tony was okay. The panic was there, just below the surface, but he was able to push it aside and concentrate on whatever task he had assigned himself. After cleaning the dishes, Tony set about cleaning the kitchen. After scrubbing the floor in there on his hands and knees, he went to collect the laundry. He changed the linens. He scrubbed both bathrooms, going so far as to use an old toothbrush to clean the grout. He vacuumed and dusted. He even swept up all the sawdust from Gibbs’ work area in the basement.

 

When it seemed like there was nothing left to do, Tony sat down and ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. Afterward, he went outside and began raking the few leaves that had fallen. It was a cool and crisp fall day, but Tony kept warm enough as he made a pile of the fallen leaves and then searched for bags to put them in. He found the oversized paper bags in the shed in the back yard where Gibbs kept the yard tools. Once the leaves were bagged and set out by the curb, Tony went inside and showered.

 

Tony was clean, but it was till too early to begin dinner, so he sat down at the piano and began to play around, picking out notes and chords. He found that there were some songs recorded in the piano’s memory, so he listened to them. When each one finished, he found his fingers copying the songs, almost as though they knew better than his mind what he was doing. He replayed three songs from the piano’s memory before he began to recall other music. Suddenly, his mind was filled with classical, jazz, and pop tunes and every one of those pieces was clamoring to break free. For three hours, Tony sat there and played, totally lost in the music.

 

That’s where Gibbs found him when he came home that evening. He stood in the doorway and listened to Tony play some light and airy classical piece and smiled. Tony was brilliant. When the music finally ended, Tony looked up at him and Gibbs smiled. “That was amazing.”

 

Tony turned at the sound of his voice and went quickly into Gibbs arms. He buried his face in the older man’s chest and murmured, “I missed you.”

 

Gibbs smiled and held his lover tightly. “I missed you too. How’d you hold up?”

 

Tony looked up and smiled at Gibbs. “As long as I kept busy I was okay. I mean, I could feel the fear, but it wasn’t overwhelming. I think I’m going to be okay.”

 

“I know you are,” Gibbs said. “Let’s go celebrate. When I hadn’t heard from you by two o’clock, I made reservations at your favorite restaurant. Go get dressed up.”

 

Tony kissed Gibbs’ cheek and then rushed up the stairs to get dressed.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**_Part 8_ **

 

_Tuesday, October 28 th _

 

Over the next several weeks, not all days went as well as that first day. There were some days when Gibbs had barely made it to the highway before Tony called him back. On others, he didn’t even try and just went in to NCIS with Gibbs. But slowly, the days that he was okay began to outnumber the days that he wasn’t.

 

His meetings with the psychologist were helping. Tony had given up trying to force his memories to come back. He knew that there was a very slim chance the he would regain a small portion of his prior memories, and making himself crazy trying to make that happen wasn’t good for him. Instead, Dr. Ramos had Tony concentrating on relearning the things he had forgotten and recognizing the things he remembered. She also had him taking personality and occupational tests. They weren’t for her benefit, but for him to begin recognizing who he was since the trauma and how he related to people and the world around him.

 

That Tony was an extrovert was not surprising to Tony or Gibbs. That he was extremely gifted in both music and mathematics was very surprising.

 

“Why is it that I can’t remember my best friend from college, but I can remember theorems like Bertrand’s postulate and can play Mozart by heart?” Tony asked Gibbs after they had reviewed the test results together. “Was I good at this stuff before?”

 

Gibbs shook his head. “You could have been, but they weren’t skills you needed as an agent. Then again, I do remember one instance when we were trying to calculate where a train would be at a certain time based upon when it left a certain station and how fast it was going. You struggled but Tim got it right away.”

 

“So my amnesia changed my intelligence?” Tony asked.

 

“I don’t think so,” Gibbs said with a smirk. “You, Anthony DiNozzo, never were one to give anything away. You wore your frat boy image like a mask. It wouldn’t surprise me if you knew the answer to that train question, but played it off because it conflicted with your image. And you have played the piano on a case once before, but I don’t think any of us realized that you are as good as you are.”

 

“That sounds pretty shallow,” Tony said with a sigh. “Was I really all about my image?”

 

Gibbs got serious. “No. Tony, you weren’t shallow at all. You tried to hide your emotions because your childhood led you to believe that you needed to hide. But I saw behind your masks most of the time. And so did the team. You trusted us, but that doesn’t change the learning of a lifetime.”

 

“My family screwed me up that bad?” Tony asked.

 

Gibbs gave him a long look. “You sure you want to hear about this?”

 

Tony sat back on the sofa and sighed. “No. I’m not sure. But I don’t… was I unlovable? Was I a bad person? Was that why I felt like I had to hide?”

 

Gibbs kissed Tony softly on the lips. “You were and _are_ one of the most lovable people I know. Your family was fucked up and didn’t know what a great thing they had in you. That was their loss. They were the ones who were bad people, not you.”

 

Tony nodded and kissed Gibbs. “Thank you.”

 

Gibbs didn’t reply. Instead, he sat back on the sofa and pulled Tony into his arms. They sat there for a time, both lost in their own thoughts.

 

“So what does the test say that you can do with skills like yours,” Gibbs finally asked, turning the conversation back to the test.

 

“Well, there’s always teaching,” Tony said. “Then there are physics, computers, engineering, architecture, or theoretical math. That’s just if went with the math. Or I could teach or try to play music professionally. Or compose. I found some music I apparently wrote in one of my boxes. There’s just too much to explore.”

 

“So?” Gibbs asked. “You have the time and there’s nothing stopping you from going after whatever you want to do. Hell, you used to joke about going back to school and getting a degree in Film History. You can do whatever you want to do.”

 

Tony closed his eyes and thought about what he wanted to do. “I think going back to school might be a good idea.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Wednesday, October 29 th _

 

Tony requested a transcript of his courses at Ohio State the next day. When it came through the fax at NCIS an hour later, Gibbs leaned over Tony’s shoulder as they read over his list of courses and his grades. He had a dual major of phys ed. and music, and his electives had been filled with courses in calculus, reasoning and probability, differential equations, geometry, topography, and complex variables. In fact, he had earned a minor in math.

 

“Why would I get these degrees and never use them?” Tony asked quietly, conscious of the others around them. “And never tell anyone about them. I must not have put them on my resume or you would have known about them. Why would I do that?”

 

“Because you wanted to piss off your father would be my guess,” Gibbs said.

 

“I got mediocre grades in most of my phys ed. courses, but these…all A’s,” Tony said with some wonder.

 

“It is rather unexpected,” Gibbs admitted. “Well, the good news is that you’ll be able to apply to a graduate school based on these course scores.”

 

“You’re thinking of going back to school?” Tim asked, having overheard a bit of their conversation. “What are you going to study?”

 

Tony looked at Gibbs, who shrugged; it was Tony’s life and his decision. Tony looked back at Tim and said, “Either music or math.”

 

Tim looked more shocked than Tony and Gibbs had the night before and it was both amusing and rewarding to find that Tony could so easily shock the man.

 

“Seriously?” Tim asked. “What…? How…?”

 

“Take a look at this, McKnow-it-all,” Tony said and handed his transcript over for Tim’s inspection. Ziva was soon up from her desk and examining the paper as well.

 

“Wow,” Tim finally breathed out. “I had to take some of these courses and they weren’t easy. You got an A in Probability? How did you do that? Even I had trouble with that one!”

 

Tony shrugged. “I have no idea how I did it. I do know that I can still do a bunch of that stuff. My psychologist wanted me to do some tests. I scored off the charts for mathematics and reasoning. And I can play pretty much any music you set in front of me. So I’m thinking of going back and getting a doctorate degree in one of those subjects.”

 

“You aren’t planning on coming back then?” Ziva asked. Tony was surprised at the disappointment he heard in her voice. He knew that they were all close, but she had been the least effusive in her welcome since his return.

 

“I don’t think so,” Tony said. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get that much of my memory back and as it stands right now I don’t _want_ to come back.”

 

Ziva looked hard at him for a moment then nodded. “I understand.”

 

“Well I don’t,” Tim muttered.

 

“How many years did you take the bus after your accident?” Gibbs asked the younger agent.

 

Tim’s face seemed to be calculating but then he realized what Gibbs was saying. “Got ya, boss.”

 

They went back to their desks and Gibbs handed Tony his jacket. “Come on. We have a doctor’s appointment to keep.”

 

“I thought you went to see the therapist yesterday,” Ziva said.

 

“Different doctor,” Tony told her. She seemed to realize that there was nothing more they could discuss in the bullpen, and let the subject drop.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Ducky went with them to their first appointment with Dr. Belinda Miles. They entered the clinic and were surprised to see that the waiting room was completely empty. Gibbs looked at the front door and saw that the sign there indicated that they were closed on Wednesday afternoons. That would explain why they were alone.

 

“Belinda thought it best to schedule Tony’s appointments when the clinic is closed,” Ducky said.

 

Just then, Dr. Miles came out to greet them. After the introductions, she said, “I’m sorry to keep you waiting. I was just finishing up some paperwork from this morning’s appointments. Come, let’s go back to the exam room and take a look at you Tony.”

 

Tony, who had been working hard to overcome his fear of all things medical, clutched at Gibbs’ hand tightly. The small room was a bit crowded with four of them present, but not so much that Dr. Miles couldn’t move around and get what she needed. After checking his vitals and asking a few standard questions, the doctor had Tony lie back on the exam table and turned on the ultrasound machine. Even as she squirted the lubricant on Tony’s stomach, he began to breathe heavily.

 

“Tony, take deep breaths,” Gibbs said. “You’re safe. I’m with you. No one here wants to hurt you. Come on Tony. Breathe in, and out. In, and out.”

 

Tony fought through his panic and tried to follow Gibbs’ instructions, but it took some time to get him back to a point where they could proceed.

 

“I’m sorry,” Tony said in a shamed whisper. “I know it’s not logical, but I get…”

 

“It is quite all right, dear,” Belinda said with a reassuring smile. “You aren’t the first man who has panicked in this room. Though usually he isn’t lying on the exam table.”

 

They all chuckled at that, and Tony relaxed enough to let the doctor go on with the exam. The Doppler wand felt weird as it glided over Tony’s abdomen, but he held on to Gibbs and breathed through any fear he felt. The fear dropped to the background, however, as soon as the doctor turned the screen for them to see.

 

“That here is your baby,” Belinda told them with a smile. “Everything looks to be moving along right on schedule based upon the conception date. I would put your due date around July 1st.”

 

“That’s our baby?’ Tony asked in wonder, his eyes glued to the screen.

 

“Yep,” Belinda said with a smile. “I’ll make a recording of this and print out the picture so you can take it home with you.”

 

A little later, after Tony had a chance to clean up, they met in Belinda’s office. “I have to tell you, Tony, when Ducky told me that he had a case that was top secret, I thought he had gone mad. When he showed me your file, I was still half convinced it was some elaborate prank. But… now I have seen you and I know this is real. It is quite extraordinary. They have done experiments in China with a male hosting a fetus during gestations, but this is the first time I have heard of a male actually creating the fetus within his own body.

 

“I realize this is must remain a secret,” Belinda went on, forestalling Gibbs’ objections. “What was done to you against your will was an atrocity and I would do nothing to bring you further harm.   But you have been given a gift from that horrific experience. I would feel privileged if you would allow me to be a part of this child’s growth and birth.”

 

Tony smiled at the woman and nodded.

 

After that, the talk turned to what things Tony could expect in the coming weeks and months, what vitamins he should be taking, what care he should take with his health.

 

“I’ve been running everyday,” Tony said. “That won’t hurt the baby, will it?”

 

“Not as long as you don’t overdo,” Belinda told him. “Listen to your body and stop when it tells you to stop. That goes for everything else, too. Including sex.” She looked at Gibbs. “Many fathers think that it is their job to wrap their… partners… in cotton wool. This usually ends up pissing off a hormonal pregnant person, something I would not recommend. Tony is not fragile, though he does need to take some precautions. Allow him the freedom to decide how much or how little his body can handle.”

 

“Got it,” Gibbs said with an ironic smile. He had been that overprotective with Shannon when she had been pregnant with Kelly. At least for as long as he had been around.

 

“What about cravings,” Tony asked. “I’ve already started to get the worst cravings for nuts and chocolate.”

 

“You have?” Gibbs asked. “Why don’t I know about these cravings?”

 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Because if you’re at work, there isn’t anything you can do about them, and if I’m at work with you, I just go to the vending machine.”

 

“You should tell me these things,” Gibbs insisted. “I could buy something on my way home, or stock up when I’m at the store.”

 

“Is this what you meant by wrapping in cotton wool?” Tony asked wryly.

 

Belinda and Ducky both laughed but Gibbs scowled. “I’m just trying to help.”

 

“And you will have plenty of opportunities to do so,” Belinda reassured him. “There will be back aches, and swollen ankles and more cravings as the months progress.”

 

“Sounds great,” Tony said sarcastically.

 

“Don’t forget the mood swings,” Gibbs said with a teasing glint in his eyes.

 

“I’m sure you won’t,” Ducky said and Gibbs had to admit that he had walked into that one.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Wednesday, December 3 rd_

 

When the morning sickness hit, it hit hard. And it didn’t hit first thing in the morning, as Tony had expected. Instead, it hit him in the early afternoon.   Since Gibbs’ team had started back on active cases, Tony stayed home almost every day and Gibbs was not aware that anything was amiss until their next appointment with Belinda.

 

“You’ve lost four pounds,” Belinda chided Tony. “You need to eat a bit more to keep up your strength.”

 

“I eat plenty,” Tony told her. “But then it comes back up.”

 

Belinda gave him a sympathizing look, but Gibbs frowned. “When did this start? Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“It started about a week ago,” Tony said. “It only hits in the afternoons, when you’re at work. And I didn’t mention it, because there isn’t anything you can do.”

 

“There is, however, something I can do,” Belinda said. “I’m not a huge fan of overmedicating my patients, but I’m going to give you a prescription that will help to ease the nausea. You can’t continue to lose weight without harming yourself and the child.”

 

Gibbs was quiet in the car on the way back to the house. Tony could tell he was displeased, but couldn’t really feel too upset over it. The morning sickness was an unpleasant part of being pregnant, but it wasn’t going to kill him. And he’d told the doctor about it.

 

“You should have told me,” Gibbs said, and Tony wondered for a moment if the older man could read his mind. “I may not have been able to do anything, but maybe I could have. And I want to know what’s going on with you. This is my baby too, you know.”

 

“Should I call you on the phone every time I puke?” Tony asked facetiously. Gibbs growled in response and Tony sighed. “Okay. I’ll tell you these things. I don’t mean to keep you out. I just don’t think it’s worth worrying over. The baby and I are fine.”

 

Gibbs snorted. “Some things never change.”

 

“What’s that?” Tony asked.

 

“You always used to say that,” Gibbs said. “You could be walking around with a dislocated shoulder and a concussion and still insist that you were fine.”

 

“Well, I am fine,” Tony said. “Even the doctor agreed.”

 

“The doctor said you can’t afford to lose more weight,” Gibbs reminded him. “You were already underweight from when you were abducted and now the baby is stealing your nutrients. You need to eat.”

 

“I do eat,” Tony said. “And the medicine will help me keep it down.”

 

Gibbs gave a frustrated sigh. “I’m really trying not to hover over you and be overprotective, but you have to give me something back, Tony. I have to know that you’ll tell me when something isn’t right, even if you don’t think it’s important. It’s important to me. You are important to me.”

 

Now Tony felt guilty for keeping this from his partner. Not long after they had found out about the baby, Gibbs had told Tony about his first wife and their little girl, Kelly. He knew that Gibbs had loved them and lost them and that he had spent years grieving their loss. Not until Tony had come along had he allowed himself to open up his heart again, not even with his three subsequent wives. Gibbs, who had lost his family once, needed to know that he wasn’t going to lose Tony and this baby. Tony felt tears well up in his eyes at the thought.

 

Gibbs noticed the tears and handed Tony a tissue. “Don’t cry.”

 

“Damned hormones,” Tony said as he blew his nose. “I hate this more than throwing up.”

 

Gibbs chuckled. “I can tell.”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Tony said. “I promise I’ll tell you everything from now on.”

 

Gibbs had pulled into the driveway and put the car in park, so he leaned over and kissed his partner’s tears away. “Thank you.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**_Part 9_ **

 

_Tuesday, December 16 th _

 

“What’s wrong with taking courses from one of the universities in DC?” Gibbs demanded over dinner a couple weeks later. Tony was now about two months pregnant and itching to take courses at Johns Hopkins University.

 

“JHU has a better music program; the Peabody Institute is one of the best in the country,” Tony said. He had made inquiries and the graduate school dean seemed eager to meet with him. There was something about being an ex-fed injured in the line of duty that made people want to do things for you. “I’d only be taking two courses for the spring semester along with two lessons. I’d only be up there two days a week. And it’s only an hour away.”

 

“You haven’t been able to drive a car since you got back,” Gibbs reminded him. “And you don’t go out by yourself.”

 

Tony frowned. “I have gone out by myself during the day. Usually just around the block or down to the store, but I have gone. And, well, you could teach me to drive again… maybe… or even better, I could take the train up and back. Probably faster that way anyway.”

 

Gibbs closed his eyes and counted to ten. “Why can’t this wait until the fall?”

 

Tony shrugged. “Because now is when the Dean of Music wants to see what I can do. He isn’t necessarily going to be waiting around in the fall.”

 

Gibbs pondered that. “Did you tell him what you have been through? The amnesia?”

 

Tony nodded. “I wrote all that in my application essay. That’s why he called me. He’s rather impressed that one of the only things I can remember happens to be music. He listened to my audition CD and wants to test me to see how much theory I remember and then see how I do in two classes before accepting me officially as a PhD candidate.”

 

Gibbs sighed. He knew he was going to lose this argument before it had even begun, but he’d had to try. “Fine. But I’ll drop you off at the train station and you are taking a cab from the train to the campus.”

 

“Anything you want,” Tony agreed happily. He was getting his way, so of course he was happy.

 

“And I want to be there when you break it to McGee that you’re going to be taking a PhD program at his alma mater.”

 

Tony laughed and hugged Gibbs across the table.

 

“So, what are you going to do when you’re seven months pregnant and have to take your finals?” Gibbs asked and watched as the glee fell from his partner’s face.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Monday, December 22 nd_

 

Christmas came faster than either Gibbs or Tony had been prepared for. In fact, the two men were so intent on dealing with the daily trials of life that neither of them realized the holidays were upon them until three days before. Tony had gone to NCIS with Gibbs that morning because he had an appointment with Dr. Ramos at lunchtime and Gibbs wouldn’t have time to pick him up, go to the appointment, and then drop him off again. Surprisingly, it was Ziva who brought up the fact that Christmas was only days away.

 

“What plans do you have for the holiday, Tony?” she asked as Tony used his old computer to order his books for the classes he was going to be taking in less than a month.

 

Tony gave Ziva a startled glance. “Holidays? Wait… Christmas!”

 

“It is only three days off,” Ziva reminded him. “Though I do not celebrate the holiday, I do intend to enjoy the long weekend away from work, as we are not on call for a change.”

 

“I honestly don’t have any idea what I’ll do for Christmas,” Tony told her. “I suppose I’ll be spending it with LJ…”

 

“Of course you’re spending it with me,” Gibbs said as he appeared from around the corner. “My father just called. He’s expecting us both in Stillwater.”

 

“But I haven’t shopped!” Tony exclaimed. “I’ve got nothing for you or your dad, who I really don’t remember. Do I know him? Nothing for the team…”

 

Gibbs sighed. “We’ll go shopping after your appointment. Things have been unusually quiet today, so it shouldn’t be a problem for me to take a few hours off. And yes, you do know my dad. You met him a couple years ago. Don’t worry. I gave him a brief summary of your condition, and we can explain the rest when we get there.”

 

“Oh god,” Tony muttered quietly so only Gibbs and Ziva could hear. “Meeting the in-laws already.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Thursday, December 24 th_

 

“I can’t believe you knocked the boy up,” Jackson Gibbs scolded his son after Tony had gone up to bed on Christmas Eve. The two Gibbs men were enjoying a last round of good Kentucky bourbon before heading to bed themselves. Gibbs and Tony had arrived in time for dinner and soon the full explanation of Tony’s capture and current condition was given over the good home cooking that Jack had provided. “You should do right by him.”

 

Gibbs rolled his eyes. “I already moved him in. What more do you want?”

 

“Marry him!” Jack said. “Give my grandbaby a proper name, a proper family.”

 

“Tony may have some female parts in him now, but he’s still legally a man,” Gibbs said. “And legally I can’t marry him.”

 

“Bullshit,” Jack said and poked Gibbs in the chest with one gnarled finger. “I read the papers and watch cable news. DC passed that law a while back. You can marry him. You just have to want to.”

 

“And he has to want to,” Gibbs said. He paused and stared into his drink for a moment. “What if getting married so soon is a mistake? I mean, look what happened with… all my wives but Shannon.”

 

“Those didn’t work because you married them for the wrong reasons,” Jack said.

 

Gibbs stared incredulously at his father, “And marrying Tony for the sake of our child is the right reason?”

 

“No,” Jackson corrected. “You’re gonna marry that boy because your mad with love for him. Haven’t seen you this crazy for anyone since you first met Shannon. You told him about her and Kelly yet?”

 

“Since the amnesia?” Gibbs asked. “Yeah. I told him. We talk a lot. More than me and Shannon talked, even. Started out as just me trying to help him figure out who he is, or was. Fill in the blanks. It’s gotten pretty easy to tell him things and to listen to him. Like with Shannon, only… different. Maybe because we have such a long history before getting to this point, even if Tony can’t remember it. The trust is there. Shannon and I had to work hard to build that sort of trust. And I don’t think we needed each other the way Tony and I need each other. Shannon was so independent, and I was off fighting wars. Even before the kidnapping, Tony and I relied on each other in some very major ways.”

 

“Sounds to me like you’re finally ready to move on, Leroy,” Jack said gently and squeezed Gibbs’ shoulder. “Sounds to me like you’re ready to make this one last.”

 

“I still love Shannon,” Gibbs said as he looked at his father. “I always will. But I think she’d approve of Tony. I think she’d want me to be happy and he does make me happy.”

 

“I know son,” Jack said with a smile. “Now stop nursing that drink and get up to bed. I’m sure Tony’s not real comfortable sleeping alone in some strange house.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

_Sunday, December 28 th _

 

They had a good Christmas. Though Tony could not remember other Christmases, he was willing to bet that this had been one of the best in his life. Jack seemed to take Tony under his wing and Tony knew that he was a part of the family. They couldn’t stay long, however, since Gibbs had to be back at work on the 29th. And so, while Gibbs loaded their luggage and gifts into his car, Jack took Tony aside and gave him another gift.

 

“What’s this?” Tony asked as he looked at the box that Jack handed to him. It was one of those book boxes that you buy from the moving companies and it was fairly heavy.

 

“This is some stuff that I think my grandbaby may like to have some day,” Jackson said. “And maybe you’d like to have it too. My stubborn son out there refuses to admit to any sentiments at all, so it would be pointless to give to him. Anyway, this is just some stuff I’ve collected over the years. Trinkets, keepsakes, that sort of thing. Take it. Keep it safe.”

 

“Thank you,” Tony said and cursed his pregnancy hormones as he began to tear up. It meant a lot to him that Jackson would entrust his family memories with Tony.

 

“Hey,” Jack scolded gently. “None of that. Leroy will think I said something to hurt your feelings.”

 

Tony laughed and accepted the handkerchief that Jack handed him.   “Sorry. It’s the hormones. My doctor says it’s perfectly natural. She’s never been a man. People look at men funny when they just burst into tears for seemingly no reason.” Jack laughed and Tony laughed with him. “You’ll come see us? After the baby’s born for sure.”

 

“Couldn’t keep me away,” Jack declared. “Now I think my son is getting impatient. He’s been standing by the car and glaring at us for the last few minutes.”

 

“He can be impatient all he wants. We aren’t leaving until he gives a proper goodbye,” Tony vowed. He called out, “LJ, get over here and say goodbye to your father properly. We won’t see him again until after the baby is born.”

 

Gibbs huffed in annoyance, but made his way over to the porch where Tony and Jack were standing. He gave his father a tight hug before stepping back and putting his arm around Tony. “Bye dad. Thanks for having us.”

 

“I’ll see you soon, Leroy,” Jack said. “You remember what I told you. You take care of these two, you hear me?”

 

“I will, sir,” Gibbs said with a small smile.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Friday, January 9 th_

 

After Christmas, Gibbs went back to work and Tony began preparing for both school and the baby. His classes began in the middle of January, but he had started practicing for four hours every day and had already read through all of his texts before the first class. He’d also begun shopping for the baby. It had been mostly online so far since getting Gibbs to go shopping was tricky, but he thought he had a pretty good start. He’d been warned by Abby that he shouldn’t get everything they would need because she wanted to throw him a baby shower, even if only the team could come, so he’d also selected some things to put on a gift registry.

 

Tony also arranged a day in January for him and Gibbs to meet with his financial advisor. Since the kidnapping, Tony really had no idea about his financial situation. He knew he got several statements of account in the mail each month, but beyond that it was all a mystery to him. He wasn’t even sure he knew all of his accounts. Since he and Gibbs were partners now, and since Tony still really didn’t go out much without him, he asked Gibbs to go with him.

 

“Tony, it’s really great to see you again,” John Michaels said as he greeted them. “And you must be Agent Gibbs. Have a seat and we can get started going over Tony’s accounts.”

 

Tony and Gibbs sat at the small table in the corner of John’s office where there were three sets of files laid out. John sat with them and opened the first file in his stack and Tony followed suit. Gibbs just watched in silence.

 

“Now Tony, you told me that you were injured in the line of duty and have no memory regarding

your financial status, so I had one of our junior brokers put together a complete picture of your portfolio,” John told him. “This first file is basically a summary of all the various accounts and investments you currently hold. The files beneath breakdown each of those accounts in detail. We’ll start with the summary and go from there.”

 

“Okay,” Tony said meekly and turned wide eyes to Gibbs. Gibbs smiled at him encouragingly before finally opening his copy of the file.

 

For the next twenty minutes, John went through the various investments: 401k, IRAs, money market accounts, stocks, options, bonds, CDs, and mutual funds. There was quite a bit more money involved than either Tony or Gibbs had expected. Apparently, the brokerage transferred twenty percent of his dividends to his bank each quarter and reinvested the remainder.

 

“Now, we’re still sitting on the settlement from your great aunt that came in back in May of last year,” John said. “You said when you brought the check from the estate that you weren’t sure how much you wanted to invest. It seemed that you had some ideas about spending a portion of the funds, so we have kept those assets liquid in a separate account until we heard back from you.”

 

Tony looked at the figure that John was indicating on the file widened his eyes. “My great aunt?” He looked at Gibbs.

 

“Don’t look at me,” Gibbs said. “You never mentioned her to me.”

 

“You stated at the time you brought the check that you barely knew her,” John said. “I believe she was your maternal grandmother’s sister-in-law. You said you never knew she had a dime to her name and you’d never done much more than send cards and flowers for Christmas and other holidays as well as her birthday because your mother used to speak fondly of summers at her home when she was a child.”

 

“That sounds like the Tony I know,” Gibbs said.

 

“The name of the lawyer that handled the estate is in the file if you want to know more,” John said.

 

“So let’s cut to the chase,” Gibbs finally said. “Exactly how much money does Tony have?”

 

“If we liquidated everything today,” John said. “I would estimate that there would be upwards of sixteen million. That’s without the inheritance.”

 

“How did I get so much?” Tony asked, completely bewildered.

 

“Your mother left you a small trust which you gained control over when you turned twenty-one,” John told him. “With smart investment choices and frugal spending it has grown from about one and a half million to what it is today. We do need to discuss what you would like to do with the inheritance.”

 

Tony looked at the figure again. It was more than two million dollars. “Put all but $500,000 into a trust fund. The rest I want to keep liquid.”

 

“Are you expecting to become a father soon?” John asked with some surprise.

 

Tony looked at Gibbs and told the lie they had discussed. “LJ and I are using a surrogate. We expect our first child sometime in August.”

 

“Well congratulations,” John said with a smile. “I’ll get that trust fund set up and transfer the money you requested into your checking account right away. Also, your next dividend transfer is due this week. With the market still in a slump, it will only be about $25,000 this quarter.”

 

John stood up and Tony and Gibbs followed suit. Soon they were out in Gibbs’ car and on their way back towards the house. Tony looked at Gibbs. “I never expected there to be that much. I mean, I only ever really looked at my bank balances, so I knew I had some money, but nothing like that.”

 

“I knew you bought nice suits, but wouldn’t have guessed that you had that much put away either,” Gibbs said. “So what are you going to do with the money you had him transfer over?”

 

“No clue,” Tony shrugged. “I just thought we could use some of it if you wanted to take time off when the baby’s born. And maybe some of it could be for a vacation. And the rest… well the house could do with some repairs and you could use a new truck and maybe you’ll let me buy you some clothes that don’t come from a department store.”

 

“What about something for you?” Gibbs asked, trying not to think about what Tony would buy for him if given free rein.

 

“I don’t know,” Tony shrugged. “The vacation would be for me, wouldn’t it? I have a nice car already—even if I can’t drive it—and nice clothes. And I have you. What else could I want or need?”

 

“How about this,” Gibbs said. “I’ll let you spend money buying me new clothes if you spend just as much on yourself. As for the truck…”

 

“You need a new one,” Tony said. “It stalled out four times when we were moving my stuff to the house. Besides, the truck would be for both of us: part of the house equipment like a lawn mower or washing machine.”

 

“Fine,” Gibbs sighed. “We’ll get a new truck.”

 

“One with an extended cab so that the baby has a place to ride,” Tony said.

 

“Okay,” Gibbs huffed. “The truck, some clothes, a vacation… that does not add up to $500,000. What else were you thinking of when you set that up?”

 

Tony fiddled with the files in his hands and avoided looking at Gibbs. “I want a walk in closet and an en suite bathroom.”

 

“You want to reconfigure the upstairs so that you turn our bedroom into a master suite?” Gibbs asked in a level tone.

 

“Sort of,” Tony said as he looked up at Gibbs finally. “See I was thinking that if we took out the garage, which isn’t really attached to anything anyway, and built a basement level garage instead, we could expand the living space on the first floor and have enough extra room on the second floor to make a master suite. And if we did that, we could build in a way for you to get the boat out when it’s finished.”

 

Gibbs had to think all of that through. The renovations Tony was suggesting wouldn’t change the footprint of the house. They would still have plenty of yard for a swing-set when the baby was old enough. And there was enough of an incline in the front of the house that a basement level garage would be practical. In fact several of their neighbors had them, which was probably where Tony had gotten the idea. The expanded space on the first floor would give them a place for a family room, which would become more convenient once the baby was born and had toys everywhere. And it would be nice to be able to get the boat out.

 

On the other hand, Gibbs was having trouble giving up control over his home. Sure he had invited Tony to live with him, but the changes Tony was suggesting would change everything, not just the architecture. It would make the house as much Tony’s as it was Gibbs’. Gibbs smiled to himself. Maybe that was the real point in all of this. Maybe Tony needed to feel like this was his home too.

 

“Yeah, okay,” Gibbs said. “We can talk to an architect I know next week and get some plans drawn up.”

 

“Really?” Tony asked with excitement.

 

“Really,” Gibbs agreed. “Though I’m not sure how we’re going to manage all this at once: work, school, the baby, and renovating the house. But I guess we’ll figure it out.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**_Part 10_ **

 

_Tuesday, January 13 th _

The morning sickness tapered off just as Tony was getting ready for his first day of school. It was an odd feeling to be going to college at his age. Especially since Tony couldn’t remember going to college the first time around. Also because the baby was making his or her presence known in new ways. In the week before classes began, suddenly Tony couldn’t fit into any of his old jeans or pants. He wore nothing but sweat pants for three days before Gibbs forced him to go out and buy some larger pants. They both knew that eventually Tony would have to wear sweats every day since there was no such thing as male maternity clothes but there was no reason to rush things along.

 

The morning of his first class arrived and Tony was ready and waiting when Gibbs got to the front door. “You ready for this? You have your train schedules and fare for the taxi?”

 

“And my cell phone and a list of emergency numbers in case the cell phone loses charge,” Tony said with a grimace. “I lost my memory, LJ. I didn’t become a six-year-old latchkey kid.”

 

“Yeah well,” Gibbs huffed, but Tony thought he could hear an unspoken apology in his tone. “I’ll be there to pick you up from the train at 4:15, right? If there’s a change of plans let me know. And if I’m out on a case, I’ll have one of the others pick you up and bring you to headquarters.”

 

“I know the plan,” Tony said.

 

Gibbs sighed. “I’m nervous, alright?”

 

“I’m nervous too,” Tony admitted. “But you going through everything that might go wrong isn’t making me feel any better.”

 

This time Gibbs actually did apologize. “Sorry.” The old Tony would have called him on it, but this Tony didn’t know all of Gibbs’ rules and Gibbs wasn’t about to teach him that one now. He led Tony out to the car and they both climbed in. The ride downtown to the train station was unusually quiet. It wasn’t until they had pulled up into the drop off lane that Gibbs spoke again. “Listen Tony, I know you are more than capable of taking care of yourself. And I know that this is supposed to be a good thing, a new start. But I can’t help feeling… like I’m leaving you at risk and it just doesn’t sit well.”

 

“Because of my kidnapping?” Tony asked.

 

Gibbs nodded. “And because I’ve lost my family before.”

 

“Shannon and Kelly,” Tony said quietly. “I get it LJ. And I promise that I’m going to do my best to make sure you never have to go through that again.” Tony reached for Gibbs’ hand but froze midway. “Oh!”

 

“What?” Gibbs demanded, looking Tony over with a critical eye. “What’s wrong?”

 

Tony shook his head and hesitated, then shook his head again. “Nothing. I think… I think the baby just moved.” He pulled Gibbs’ hand to his slightly protruding belly and they both felt the small flutter of movement.

 

“Wow.” Gibbs’ voice was low and hoarse.

 

“Yeah,” Tony agreed quietly. “I… It wasn’t real. I mean, I knew. I saw the test results and the ultrasound. I knew, but it wasn’t real. And now…”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Wow.”

 

“Yeah,” Gibbs said with a small smile. Tony smiled back and they just sat there looking at each other for long minutes until the sound of a car horn broke them from their trance.

 

“I have to go or I’m going to miss my train,” Tony said as he grabbed his bag. He leaned forward, kissed Gibbs and then practically launched himself from the car. He was through the doors and out of sight before Gibbs had a chance to blink twice.

 

“See ya tonight, DiNozzo,” Gibbs muttered, but his face still wore a smile.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Abby was at the train station when Tony got back that afternoon. As Tony climbed into her 1931 red Ford hot rod, she leaned in for a kiss to her cheek, and Tony was happy to oblige her. “So how was your first day of school, Tony?”

 

“School was so great Abby,” Tony gushed. “I have no idea how I was with school before, but today was… so cool.”

 

Abby giggled. “It’s so hard to believe that Tony DiNozzo is excited about school of all things. Movies, yes. Girls, yes. Music classes? Not so much.”

 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Yeah well, I don’t know this Tony DiNozzo to whom you refer. The only one I know likes music. And those classes were so cool. I had my first piano lesson and my instructor was about ten years younger than me, but he was really nice. And then I had theory class, and we talked about chord transitions in various genres of music. Tomorrow I’ve got my private composition lesson and I’m taking a seminar in playing jazz improvisation.”

 

“Sounds great,” Abby said with a smile and pulled out into traffic. “So the trip up and back was okay? ‘Cause I know Gibbs was worried, even if he would never admit it.”

 

Tony sighed. “I know he was worried. He called liked six times today.”

 

“You didn’t scold him for calling, did you?” Abby asked with agitation. “Because you know he was so destroyed when we lost you and with his wife and daughter and now with the baby and everything? You have to be patient with him Tony!”

 

“I know, Abs,” Tony said in a soothing voice. “I didn’t scold him. I talked to him each time and reassured him that we were fine.”

 

“We? You said we!” Abby squealed. “Awww! You and the baby make we. That’s the first time you’ve done that.”

 

“Well… LJ and I felt the baby move for the first time this morning,” Tony admitted. “Kinda made it a real, you know?”

 

Abby smiled. “Yeah, I get it.”

 

“Anyway, I didn’t mind Gibbs calling so much,” Tony admitted. “In fact… I actually called him twice.” Tony glanced at Abby and she raised an eyebrow to him. “Okay, so I was a little nervous about being out and about on my own.”

 

“I forget sometimes how hard this must be for you,” Abby said sympathetically.

 

Tony shrugged. “Therapy helps. Not just me, either. Not that LJ will admit to that. But it’s still hard being out on my own. I mean, I know… you know, in my head… that I’m stronger than, well, anyone, but that doesn’t translate to being completely confident of my ability to take care of myself. And now I have this kid in me relying on me, and I have Gibbs to worry about, ‘cause what’s he gonna do if something happens to us… So yeah, I’ve been a bit nervous about all this stuff too.”

 

“Oh Tony,” Abby said sorrowfully. “You shouldn’t be afraid.”

 

“No? What if you guys haven’t gotten all of the people who experimented on me?” Tony asked. “What if they come back? Or what if there’s something they did to me that we just don’t know about yet? Or it doesn’t even have to be about that. LJ told me about all the times I got hurt or captured when I worked for NCIS. There could be somebody out there holding a grudge and I wouldn’t recognize them if they walked right up to me.”

 

“If that’s how you feel, then why did you even sign up for classes?” Abby asked kindly.

 

“Because I can’t spend the rest of my life holed up in our house,” Tony said. “What kind of life is that? For me, for Gibbs, or for our kid? I’m doing what I have to do to get on with my life. But if that means LJ calls me six times a day to feel better, and if I feel better because of those calls and knowing that he’ll answer my call even if he’s in the middle of a case, then I can live with that for the time being. And Gibbs has been very careful not to call while I’m actually in class, so that helps.”

 

“Tony, it’s so great to see you and Gibbs finally happy together,” Abby said wistfully. “At the same time, I’m so sorry that it had to happen like this.”

 

“Did you know, about me and Gibbs, before?” Tony asked.

 

“There was a you and Gibbs before?” Abby asked.

 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Not like that. Not like now. But LJ said that we had the potential to be an us but we’d never acted on it. Did you see that too?”

 

“From the moment I first saw you two together, I knew that there was something special about you, Tony,” Abby said. “I knew that there was a connection between you and the Bossman that went deeper than just colleagues. Did I think it could be a grand romance? Not at first. I mean, you were both so intent on proving your masculinity with all the wrong people. I mean the Bossman with his redheads and you with… well anyone in a skirt. But there was that whole reading each other’s mind business, and the way you could anticipate what he’d need almost before he knew that he needed it pretty much from day one. It took me longer than I think it should have taken to figure it all out. It wasn’t until Kate was killed that I pieced it together.”

 

“What did Kate’s death have to do with me and Gibbs?” Tony asked. “I mean, I know she was on our team and we both must have missed her and all, but how would that have told you anything about our relationship?”

 

“I was really worried about both of you after Kate died,” Abby said. She paused to show her NCIS ID to the gate guard before driving onto the Navy Yard. “You both have a tendency to blame yourselves for things like that. So I watched closely. And what I saw was you subtly coaxing Gibbs from his guilt induced grouchiness and I saw Gibbs giving you the comfort and reassurance you needed.”

 

“How’d he do that?” Tony asked.

 

“Beer and pizza in his basement mostly,” Abby said. “I lost count of the times you went over to his place after work and the two of you… did whatever it is you did. I think he worked on the boat.”

 

“LJ said I would watch him work and talk when I would come over,” Tony said. They pulled into Abby’s reserved parking space and she shut off the car. “He said it was never important what I said. It was more important that I knew he was listening.”

 

Abby smiled. “Yeah. That sounds about right. Anyway, after that, I knew that no matter how many redheads he chased, and no matter how many flings you flung that the two of you had something special. It was bigger than lust or romance or sexuality. And I knew that one day, you two would end up together.”

 

“Bet ya didn’t think we’d end up together quite like this,” Tony sighed as he rubbed his belly.

 

Abby smiled. “No, not like this. But this is good. This is real good.”

 

“Yeah it is,” Tony grinned.

 

They climbed from the hot rod and walked to the entrance to the building. Once they were past security, Abby asked, “So why won’t you drive?”

 

Tony laughed for a moment and then sighed. “It’s really not funny. Since the experiments, I have a hard time judging how fast I should go. No matter how many times I try to moderate my speed, my right foot wants to kick a hole through the car’s floor every time I press the gas pedal. You think Gibbs drives fast? You really don’t want to see what I can do in that Mustang of mine.”

 

“It’s a 1968 GT390,” Abby said. “And you have it suped up and restored like new. Of course it goes fast.”

 

“Yes,” Tony agreed. “It is supposed to go fast. But it isn’t supposed to go 70 on a residential street.”

 

“Oh.” Abby pressed the elevator button and they waited in silence for a moment before the elevator arrived and they climbed on alone. “I guess I can see why you aren’t driving. But you have the Mustang, Gibbs has his 1971 Challenger RT Hemi, plus the pick up, and then Gibbs drives the company car most days. Where in the world do you park all these cars?”

 

Tony shrugged. “The Mustang’s in the garage, the Challenger is under a tarp in the drive, and Gibbs parks both the truck and the NCIS Charger on the street. We’re doing some work on the house, though and I’ve convinced LJ to make the garage and driveway bigger.”

 

“You guys are doing work on the house?” Abby asked. “Gibbs never said anything.”

 

“Yeah, well, I think he’s trying to ignore the fact,” Tony said. “The contractors start on Monday and he still hasn’t decided if he wants to stay or go someplace else for the duration. I’m about ready to call them and tell them not to come.”

 

They reached Abby’s lab and Tony followed her inside. “Why would you do that?”

 

“Because he only agreed to the renovations to make me happy,” Tony said as he sat down on a stool beside her work bench. “And it’s pretty obvious that it bothers him. I don’t want him to be unhappy.”

 

“I’m not unhappy,” Gibbs said from the doorway, startling both Tony and Abby.

 

“Don’t do that!” Abby scolded. “It’s not good for Tony and…”

 

“Yeah,” Tony agreed with a cocky grin. “It’s not good for us.”

 

“If you say so,” Gibbs said. “The point is, you are wrong about the house. I’m not just doing it for you. I agree that some changes need to be made for us to be comfortable there. Even Shannon thought it was too crowded. And since it’s either do the renovations or move, I’d rather do the renovations. But Tony, you have to know I hate changes. I’m going to be grumpy and out of sorts through the entire process. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to do it. Beside, how else are we going to get the boat out? I want to take you sailing one of these days.”

 

Gibbs wrapped his arms around Tony and hugged him tightly. Tony reveled in the closeness and protection he always felt in Gibbs’ embrace. “Yeah. Okay. But if you’re grumpy from the renovations and I’m moody from… this could be a very interesting few months.”

 

Gibbs and Abby both laughed, but Tony thought it wasn’t all that funny.

 

“So how was your first day of school?” Gibbs asked as he led Tony out of the lab and towards the elevator. Abby listened as Tony recounted his day to Gibbs and smiled at the way Tony still liked to babble and Gibbs just grunted in all the right places. And then they were gone with the ding of the elevator.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**_Part 11_ **

 

_Friday, March 20 th _

 

Construction began on the house the next week, but Gibbs worked with the contractor to schedule the work so that they could remain in the house through the majority of the renovation. They would only need to be out of the way for four weeks. Gibbs arranged for those four weeks to coincide with Tony’s spring break from school and scheduled some vacation time for himself in the middle of it so that they would be gone for a good portion of that period. “For that vacation you wanted,” as Gibbs explained when Tony asked.

 

It turned out to be much more than a vacation however. The day they were scheduled to leave for vacation, instead of heading straight to the airport as Tony had expected, Gibbs had driven them to the courthouse.

 

“What are we doing here?” Tony asked when they pulled into a parking space. He saw Abby, Ziva, Tim, Ducky and Palmer all waiting on the sidewalk for them. “And what are they doing here? I thought our flight was scheduled for 11am. We have to get to the airport if we’re going to make it through security in time.”

 

“We aren’t flying,” Gibbs told Tony. “And they are here to witness out marriage. Assuming you aren’t going to turn me down.”

 

“You want to get married?” Tony asked. He stared at Gibbs. “Here, today… you want to have a courthouse ceremony?”

 

“Well, yeah, DiNozzo,” Gibbs said. “That was sort of the point of arranging all this. So what do you say?”

 

Tony was in complete and utter shock, but not as shocked as Gibbs was when Tony said, “No.”

 

“No?” Gibbs asked quietly, ignoring the worried looks coming from their friends who were now watching them through the Challenger’s windows.

 

“No,” Tony said sadly. “Not like this. Not like some shotgun wedding, only happening because you knocked me up. No.”

 

“That isn’t what this is,” Gibbs sighed.

 

“No?” Tony asked, “Then why here? Why not at the house? Why isn’t your dad here?”

 

“He is here,” Gibbs said with annoyance. “Look!”

 

Sure enough, as Tony looked back out at their friends gathered on the sidewalk, Jackson Gibbs stepped out from behind Tim and Ducky. “Oh.”

 

“And if you’d rather have this at the house, we can do that,” Gibbs said. “It’ll just take a little rearranging. I’ll have to see if the judge will go out there. But I thought with all the construction going on that this might be better.”

 

“Oh.” Tony said again.

 

“In case you hadn’t figured it out yet, I love you DiNozzo,” Gibbs huffed.

 

Tony knew that Gibbs was annoyed. He always used his last name when he was annoyed or frustrated with him. Since Tony’s hormones had really started fluctuating, that happened more and more often. “Sorry. In that case, yes, I’ll marry you. Because I love you too. And here and now is fine for the ceremony. I don’t really care where or when. I just…”

 

“Didn’t want it to be all about the baby,” Gibbs sighed. “I know. Or I should have. I thought making it a surprise would be a good thing. I guess I should have talked this over with you first.”

 

Tony laughed and touched Gibbs’ cheek. “It is pretty romantic for an ex-marine.”

 

“Enough,” Gibbs said, a faint blush staining his cheeks. “Let’s get this show on the road.” He climbed out of the car and went to help Tony from his side. The low car and his shifting center of gravity was wreaking havoc on his ability to get in and out gracefully.

 

“I feel like a beached whale,” Tony groused as Gibbs gave him a hand up.

 

“Just wait a couple more months,” Gibbs said quietly. In fact, Tony had put on a bit of weight since January. His little bit of a middle-aged spread was blossoming into a full out beer gut. Or that’s what it looked like to the uninitiated.

 

“At least I insisted that we dress decently for the flight I thought we were taking,” Tony groused as they walked over to the others. “Otherwise we’d have wedding pictures with you in jeans and a sweatshirt with saw dust on them.” In fact, they both looked very nice. Gibbs was wearing some of the new clothes that Tony had insisted on buying for him. Actually, now that he thought about it, Tony realized that the little bit of protest that Gibbs had made about dressing up to travel had been token at best.

 

The next half hour was a bit of a blur for Tony. Their friends and family swept them into the courthouse and they were soon standing in front of a judge and repeating their vows. Tony knew he’d probably heard the words from attending a hundred weddings in his life, but they were brand new to him now and he was positive they had never meant what they seemed to mean now. Abby stood beside Tony as his witness and Jack stood up for Gibbs and when the time came, they each handed over a simple platinum band. The rings were exchanged and a kiss shared and then it was all over and Tony was being hugged first by Abby and then by Jack and then everyone else seemed to blend into one continuous hug.

 

Afterward, they all got back into their cars and headed to the restaurant where Gibbs had arranged for a private party. As soon as the doors closed on the car, Tony turned to Gibbs and asked, “So if we aren’t flying, where are we going for our vacation?”

 

Gibbs chuckled. “After all that, this is what you’re focused on? Okay. We’re sailing down the coast to the keys.”

 

“But the boat…”

 

“…was taken out of the basement the first week of construction,” Gibbs said. “I got some help to get the rigging, mast and keel in place and I’ve been working on painting and finishing the boat for the last couple weeks out at the marina.”

 

“So you have been sneaking away to finish the boat for our honeymoon?” Tony asked.

 

“Well, yeah,” Gibbs said. “I think I’m done with boats for a while, though,” Gibbs said. “I was thinking my next project would be a cradle for the baby.”

 

“And then maybe a dining room table?” Tony asked. “Because I can’t find anything that will match the piano and the new furniture I’ve got ordered for the living room.”

 

“And you’ll want matching chairs, too, I suppose?” Gibbs asked ruefully.

 

“Only if you can make them,” Tony said. “Otherwise I did see some chairs that could be okay.”

 

Gibbs laughed as they pulled up to the restaurant. He leaned over and gave Tony a kiss. “We’ll see.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Sailing at four and a half months pregnant was not a good idea. The morning sickness that had been under control for several weeks returned with a vengeance under the guise of motion sickness. They hadn’t been on the water for half an hour, not even past Occoquan Bay, less than a quarter of the way to the Chesapeake Bay, and Tony was laid flat on the deck with his head over the side of the boat losing everything he had ever eaten in his life.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you get seasick?” Gibbs asked as patiently as he could muster once he had gotten them back to the marina in Alexandria and could concentrate on helping his new husband.

 

“I don’t,” Tony muttered as he wiped the spittle from his face with the wet cloth Gibbs handed him. “According to my photo albums I’ve been sailing, deep sea fishing, on cruises… We had a sailboat when I was growing up on Long Island. I don’t think I’ve ever been seasick before.”

 

Gibbs was bemused, but he helped Tony up and onto dry land. They found some saltines in the car from when Tony was still getting sick all the time and Tony munched on them while Gibbs went back to hose off the deck and carry their supplies back to the car.

 

“Now what?” Tony asked once Gibbs was sitting beside him behind the steering wheel.

 

Gibbs took a deep breath. “We go get a hotel for the night since we can’t go to the house. And then we start looking online for a new destination. We still have more than two weeks of vacation.”

 

“We could drive to the keys,” Tony suggested. “Sea and warm climate and no boats needed.”

 

“We could fly to Europe,” Gibbs said. “I’ve never been when I wasn’t working.”

 

“I like that,” Tony said. “Rome, Venice, Paris…”

 

“Normandy,” Gibbs said. “Naples, Ardennes…”

 

“Those are sites where battles took place aren’t they?” Tony asked with a small frown.

“Yup,” Gibbs agreed.

 

“Oh.”

 

Gibbs laughed. “We don’t have to spend all our time visiting battlegrounds. I just thought if we were going to be in that area, it would be nice to see a little history.”

 

“Do we even have passports?” Tony asked.

 

“Yes, and they are up to date,” Gibbs informed him. “Part of the job.”

 

“Oh,” Tony said. “In that case, I think Paris and Milan. Both are good for shopping. Both are good for museums and both have some sort of ties to WWII. Paris is close to both Normandy and Ardennes. And isn’t Milan where they captured and killed Mussolini? ”

 

“Near there,” Gibbs agreed. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Sunday, April 5 th_

 

“So, how was your honeymoon? Did you make it all the way to the Caribbean?” Abby asked when the two men returned two weeks later. The team had gotten together at Ducky’s house to welcome them home. They hadn’t yet told anyone of their last minute change in plans.

 

“Actually, we didn’t get to sail anywhere,” Tony told her.

 

“The baby appears to suffer from severe seasickness,” Gibbs said dryly.

 

Ducky chuckled. “Oh dear. I had not considered that. I do hope it was not too unpleasant for you, Anthony?”

 

Tony shrugged and set aside his cup of herbal tea. “I survived, and we flew to Paris the next day so it wasn’t all bad.”

 

“Paris!” Abby gushed. “Oooh. Tell me all about it.”

 

And so Tony regaled their friends with tales from their adventures, including a particularly embarrassing story of Gibbs driving for almost fifteen minutes on the wrong side of the road on the way to Normandy. He had ignored the blaring horns, used to them as he was from irate drivers protesting his insane driving in the US. Thankfully, Tony had woken up from his nap and corrected his partner. Quite vociferously.

 

“I thought France was like Britain,” Gibbs said with a self-deprecating shrug. “And in Paris, all the drivers are insane, so it’s hard to tell.”

 

There was much laughter, and fun but eventually, the travel, the time change and just plain exhaustion took over and Tony fell asleep with his head on Gibbs’ shoulder. The party broke up and soon Gibbs was getting Tony into the car so they could go to the short term business hotel where they would be staying until the work on the house was completed.

 

It wasn’t long before they were nestled under the blankets and trying to get comfortable in their temporary bed.

 

“This mattress sucks,” Tony complained tiredly. “And the sheets are rough.”

 

“Yup,” Gibbs agreed. He had found that was the easiest thing to do when Tony got like this. He had been having more and more problems sleeping in the last couple weeks. Gibbs wasn’t sure if it was the hotel beds or the baby, but whatever it was, when combined with pregnancy hormones, it did not make Tony a happy man.

 

“Don’t just patronize me, LJ,” Tony grumbled.

 

“I’m not,” Gibbs said. “I’m agreeing with you.”

 

“You’re humoring me,” Tony argued. “You can sleep anywhere. This mattress could have rocks instead of springs and you wouldn’t notice.”

 

“I’d notice,” Gibbs said. He kissed Tony’s head and pulled him closer. “It just wouldn’t keep me from sleeping.”

 

Tony snuggled up to his husband and yawned. “This sucks.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I can’t sleep.”

 

“I know.”

 

“….” Tony was silent for a while.

 

Gibbs sighed and sat up in bed. “Would you like to talk about it?”

 

“No.” Tony was pouting as he sat up beside Gibbs.

 

“Would you like me to make you some tea?”

 

“No.”

 

“Would you like me to rub your back?” Gibbs asked.

 

Tony shrugged, but he didn’t say no.

 

“Roll over,” Gibbs told his husband. Tony did as he was told, placing a pillow under his chest to relieve some of the pressure from his belly while Gibbs retrieved the massage oil from the luggage. When Gibbs returned and began to stroke his warm and oil slick hands over Tony’s back the younger man let out a long low groan that Gibbs knew had more to do with sex than it did with sore muscles. He let it go and kept rubbing down Tony using long slow strokes that eventually reached Tony’s strong gluteus muscles. Another moan, heavy with desire, and Gibbs chuckled. He continued to caress Tony’s ass until Tony was spreading his legs wantonly and whimpering with desire.

 

Gibbs took a moment to add some of the oil to his cock before covering Tony’s back with his body. Gibbs mouth millimeters from Tony’s ear, he whispered, “If you want me to fuck you, all you have to do is ask. I don’t think you realize just how fucking hot you are with your belly all swollen with our child.” And with that he guided his cock to Tony’s hole and allowed gravity to take over. He began a slow and steady pace, using just his hips to withdraw and then press back in, rotating his pelvis to change the angle and pressure of his cock inside his lover. “Is this what you wanted?” He withdrew again, this time using his legs and arms for leverage.

 

“Yes!” Tony cried out as Gibbs slammed back in, hitting his prostate dead on. “Fuck yes!”

 

Gibbs pulled Tony up onto his knees, leaving his chest on the bed and began to increase both the speed and the strength of his fucking. Tony was gasping and whining with the intense need that was building inside.

 

“You want it hard,” Gibbs said as he pulled Tony’s head up by the hair. “I’ll give it to you hard.” He matched his words with his actions. Then he released Tony’s hair and stroked softly over his neck and collarbone as his body slowed to a sensual and unhurried pace. “If you want it easy and slow, that’s what you’ll get.”

 

“Harder,” Tony panted out. “Please! Hard and fast. Need to come. Please!”

 

Gibbs grinned and used Tony’s shoulders to pull the younger man back into his forward movement, causing their bodies to crash in collision of heat and sweat and flesh. Tony’s hands were clutching at the bedding, tearing the rough sheets he had been complaining about earlier. Neither man noticed or cared. Gibbs was so close… He grasped Tony’s cock and slammed into him over and over until they were both screaming out their orgasms.

 

Tony’s fall to the bed was an easy one since all but his hips and ass were already there. Gibbs, on the other hand, had a long way to fall, and he was careful to do so where he wouldn’t hurt either Tony or the baby. Unconcerned about the wet spot or the fluids dripping from Tony’s well-used body, Gibbs pulled Tony to him and grabbed the blankets. In moments they were back in their original positions, Gibbs lying on his back and Tony curled up on his side with his head on Gibbs’ shoulder.

 

“Feel better?”

 

“Much.”

 

“Can you sleep now?”

 

“I don’t think I could stay awake if I tried,” Tony admitted sleepily. Moments later, his breathing had evened out and Gibbs grinned before closing his eyes and joining him in sleep.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**_Part 12_ **

 

_Thursday, May 14 th _

 

Tony’s first recital was in April. Each of their friends came up to Baltimore to see him perform. Gibbs knew he was biased, but he thought Tony was the best performer of the evening. Ducky, who actually listened to classical music by choice, unlike the rest of the team, had plenty of wonderful things to say to Tony afterwards when they all went to dinner to celebrate.

 

The next week, the construction on the house was finished and the new furniture was moved in. Tony was relieved to get back to their bed, though he still had trouble sleeping because of the baby, but not as relieved as Gibbs was to be home. He had to admit that it really had been worth all of the hassle and inconvenience. The new living space opened up to both the living room and kitchen and was perfect for watching television and for a baby to play.   And the new garage had enough room for both his Challenger and Tony’s Mustang, leaving space in the drive for the truck and the NCIS Charger.

 

Tony was most pleased by the new master suite. Their bathroom now had a soaking tub as well as a steam shower and two sinks. The closet was large enough that Tony could fit all of his clothes in there without putting any into seasonal storage. Best of all, though, was the fact that they now had two spare rooms: one for the nursery and one for when Jack came to visit. The nursery still needed to be finished, but it was at least painted.

 

After moving back home, Tony was so caught up in preparing for his finals that Gibbs hardly saw him. Well, that wasn’t precisely true. Tony would practice in the living room—where they had placed the piano after the move—and study at the dining table, but his brain was elsewhere for two weeks. Gibbs was glad when he dropped Tony off at the train station the morning of is last exam. Once that was complete, he would get his husband back. He hoped.

 

In fact, he was so pleased at the prospect that he had made reservations for dinner that evening at Tony’s favorite restaurant. His luck held all through the day and the team was able to wrap up their current case early. At 4:00, Gibbs gathered his things and left NCIS for the evening. He headed straight for the train station to meet Tony. The train was due in at 4:15.

 

By 4:30, Gibbs was starting to worry. He had tried to call Tony’s cell a dozen times and had finally called McGee to check to see if there were any delays on the train. By 4:45, Gibbs had McGee searching Tony’s commuter pass to see if he got on the train at all and Ziva had come to the station to help him search there.

 

As soon as Ziva pulled up with the new probie, Gibbs was barking out orders. “I’ve talked to the transit police already and they are expecting us. Johnson, take the mezzanine level. Check all restrooms and shops. David, take the lower level. I’ll be on the street level. Call if you find anything!”

 

Gibbs met the team of transit cops on the street level and they began the methodical search of the public spaces, shops and train platforms. They questioned employees and passengers as they went. After almost an hour of searching, they still hadn’t found anything. Ziva and Johnson had returned to the main level and they knew they were going to have to expand their search.

 

And then Gibbs’ phone rang. He looked at the caller ID but didn’t recognize the number. “Ziva, have McGee trace this call.” And then he flipped the phone open. “Gibbs.”

 

“LJ!”

 

“Oh my god, Tony! Where are you?” Gibbs was both relieved to hear Tony’s voice and frantic to find out where he was.

 

“I’m not sure,” Tony said. He sounded tired and frightened. “They drugged me again, but my metabolism… it wore off earlier than they expected. I was in the trunk of a car and when it stopped I fought. I think I killed them.”

 

“You’re going to be okay,” Gibbs said. “How many of them are there?”

 

“Two,” Tony said. Gibbs could hear him moving around. “I think this one has a pulse. I took the other one’s phone and he wasn’t breathing.”

 

Gibbs closed his eyes momentarily to think. “Alright, tell me what is around you. Are you inside or outside?”

 

“I’m in some sort of warehouse,” Tony said. “There’s a room… like where they had me before. LJ, they were going to experiment on me again!”

 

“But they can’t do that now,” Gibbs said calmly. “You protected yourself. You’re stronger than they are, remember?”

 

“McGee’s got a location,” Ziva said.

 

Gibbs covered the mouthpiece on his phone and said, “Have him send backup, but no one goes in until I get there.” He moved his hand. “Tony, we’re coming to get you. McGee found your location. Just hang in there and keep talking to me.”

 

Ziva followed McGee’s directions and drove to the warehouse while Gibbs kept talking to Tony on the phone. There was a moment or two when Gibbs thought Tony might truly panic, but he kept it together. And then they were pulling up outside the building. The other team and paramedics were already on the scene and waiting.

 

“Tony, we’re right outside,” Gibbs said. “I’m coming in with Ziva, okay. Everyone else will stay out here until we get to you, okay?”

 

Ziva explained the situation to the other team leader and they agreed to hold back until Gibbs called for them. Gibbs and Ziva saw a door near the bay door that they had to have driven the car through.   One good kick from Ziva and they were in. And then they saw Tony. He was just standing beside the car looking lost.

 

“Tony?”

 

Tony turned and saw Gibbs and ran to him. He was in his arms and shaking before Gibbs could say another word.

 

“Are you okay?” Gibbs asked once Tony had stopped shaking. “Do we need to get Dr. Miles?”

 

Tony rubbed at his belly and felt the baby kick. “No. We’re both fine. Just a bit upset and anxious. I just want to go home.”

 

Gibbs nodded to Ziva and she called the other team to come in and search the rest of the warehouse. The paramedics came in as well and checked the two men on the ground. Both were still alive, but barely. Tony’s blows had done some serious damage. They rushed the two off to the hospital under guard and one of the paramedics quickly checked Tony’s vitals to make sure he was okay.

 

Then they had to head back to NCIS. As much as Gibbs wished he could take Tony home, they had to make a statement and deal with the paperwork.

 

“Tony!” Abby cried as soon as they stepped off the elevator. She hugged his tightly and he hugged her back. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I hear you kick some bad-guy ass.”

 

Tony smiled for the first time since Gibbs found him. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Saturday, May 16 th _

 

Tony sat on their new sofa in their new family room with his feet in Gibbs’ lap, enjoying a foot rub. “Are you certain they’ve got them all this time? I mean, you thought that the last time too.”

 

Gibbs had to admit the truth to that. “Yes. That warehouse was where they had base of operations and all their records. There was a complete list of who was involved in the operation, who invested money, all that. It wasn’t just about experiments. The guys behind the mad scientists we caught before wanted to make money from the research they were doing, so they gave them the money. When we caught the scientists, they weren’t implicated, but they didn’t have any proof that the experiments worked. They needed that to sell their findings on the black market.”

 

“So they came for me and junior here?” Tony asked as he rubbed at his swollen belly. “Idiots obviously didn’t have a full understanding of what the scientists had done. They didn’t take into account my metabolism or my strength.”

 

“It’s a good thing too,” Gibbs said. “But McGee has traced all the funding now and we are positive that we’ve got all the backers as well as the scientists. You and junior are safe.”

 

“On to other news,” Tony said brightly. “I did very well on my exams and the dean called this morning to tell me that I’ve officially been accepted into the doctoral program.”

 

“I guess we’ll have to look into childcare for the days you’re at school this fall,” Gibbs said. He continued to rub Tony’s feet, but his mind was on the baby. He had insisted that Tony go see both Dr. Miles and Dr. Ramos on Friday. Both said that he’d come through the event remarkably well. While at Dr. Miles’ office, however, they had finally gotten confirmation on the sex of the baby. “What about Jonathan?”

 

Tony screwed up his nose and said, “I don’t think I like that one. What about Jethro?”

 

Gibbs snorted. “You won’t even call me that, why would you want to name our child that?”

 

“Maybe as a middle name,” Tony conceded. “Then how about Julian?”

 

“As in Lennon?” Gibbs asked with a frown. “I don’t think so.”

 

“I talked to Jackson the other day,” Tony said. “He wants to be here when the baby comes.”

 

Gibbs thought about that. “Are you sure you want to have him underfoot those last days? He can be stubborn and pushy and cantankerous.”

 

“I know,” Tony said with a smile. “But he cares about both of us and that means a lot more than any Gibbs’ crankiness. I put up with yours all the time.”

 

Gibbs had to concede that point. Tony had a way of diffusing Gibbs’ bad moods. And Jack seemed to be on his best behavior around Tony. “You can tell him he can come whenever you two work out.”

 

“Good,” Tony said. “The C-section is scheduled for the 28th so he’ll be here June 26th.”

 

Gibbs shook his head. He was still too relieved to have Tony back and safe to be upset that he and Jack had conspired behind his back. Besides, Tony was right. Jackson Gibbs loved them, they were his only family and this baby was his grandson. Gibbs remembered how Jack had doted on Kelly and knew that he wanted that kind of love for this baby as well.

 

“Now that finals are over, what are you going to do with all your free time?” Gibbs asked.

 

Tony shrugged. “Finish the nursery. Now that we know it’s a boy, we can start really getting the stuff. I’ll order everything online and have it delivered. That’s how I furnished the rest of this place. And I might work on some composing. It’s not like I can go out much from here on out. Dr. Miles said she thought I needed to cut back and none of my clothes really fit anymore, so I’m basically homebound.”

 

That thought was not a happy one for Tony who was a very social person. Even when he stayed home while Gibbs went to work, he made trips to the shops nearby and had made friends with all the store owners and clerks. Other than the first few weeks after they rescued him, Tony had not stayed at home more than a day.

 

“The team has all agreed to come over to visit,” Gibbs reminded him. “And I’m taking family leave after June 12th so I’ll be here for the last couple weeks.”

 

“And Abby’s planning the baby shower in two weeks,” Tony said. “That’s something to look forward to. But our morning runs are out now.” Though Tony’s stamina had shortened considerably as the pregnancy had progressed, he was still able to outrun Gibbs; in fact, Dr. Miles said the exercise was good for both Tony and the baby.

 

“We can still run,” Gibbs said. “We’ll just have to get two treadmills. We’ll run together in the basement.”

 

Tony was up and moving before Gibbs realized his husband was going. “Where are you going?”

 

“To get my laptop,” Tony said with cheerful enthusiasm. Gibbs would never get used to the mood swings Tony was prone to right now. “If I order now, maybe they can deliver the treadmills on Monday!”

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**_Part 13_ **

 

_Saturday, May 30 th_

 

Abby’s shower was like nothing Tony and Gibbs had ever been to before. In fact, McGee and Ducky looked just as ill at ease and out of place. Only Ziva and Abby seemed to be comfortable with all the pastel decorations and baby paraphernalia. And the games they made them play… Well, they were too horrific to relate. Tony was sure he would be scarred for life after being made to let them measure the circumference of his belly for one of those games.

 

“Where’s the beer?” McGee asked Gibbs in an aside while the girls prepared some other form of “entertainment.”

 

“I don’t know,” Gibbs answered, “but I’m ready for the bourbon after this.”

 

“I just want the damned cake they promised me,” Tony grouched. “And the presents.”

 

“I believe there is a reason that these events are usually only attended by women,” Ducky told them. “However, Abby has put a lot of time and effort into this, so I believe we should give her the benefit of our doubts. In other words, suck it up boys. It will be over soon enough.”

 

The one concession Tony had gotten from Abby was that she was not allowed to take pictures. He didn’t mind the fact that he looked like a whale. He didn’t even mind the fact that Abby had stuck some sort of hat on his head the moment he walked through the door. What he minded was the fact that he had nothing but sweats that fit him anymore. Sure he had picked the nicest pair of sweats—more like track pants or yoga pants really—but they were still sweats. And as he was constantly overheating, he was wearing a t-shirt with those sweats. Not what Tony considered proper party attire and he wanted no proof that he had ever been so out of fashion, even for a baby shower.

 

“Alright,” Abby said as she and Ziva returned from their sojourn into her kitchen. “We’re done torturing you all with the traditional shower games. Truth be told, we hate them too. But they are tradition, so…”

 

“What Abby means to say is the food is out and you can help yourselves,” Ziva said.

 

“Finally,” Tony said as he tried to lever himself out of the chair the girls had shoved him in earlier. It was soft and low, not a good combination for Tony right then, and it took both McGee and Gibbs to finally get Tony to his feet. “I’m not sitting in that chair ever again.”

 

He ignored the snickers from his friends as he made his way to the kitchen to load up his plate with food. Of course, now that junior was taking up so much room, he didn’t have as much room in his belly. What that meant was that Tony was always hungry, but he could only eat small meals when he ate. The fact that he’d been forced to stop grazing for the two hours it took to get to Abby’s and get through the games was torture and he was more than ready to eat.

 

“Go easy on the dip,” Gibbs told Tony. “It’s loaded with onions.”

 

Onions were currently not his friend. Tony set the spoon back in the dish without taking any. He went for the turkey sandwiches instead. He also grabbed a pickle and some olives and then went back to the living room and sat at the table.

 

“Is that all you’re eating?” Abby asked with some distress.  


Tony shrugged. “For now. Give me an hour and I’ll be ready for more.”

 

“Anthony’s stomach is currently being crowded by the growing baby,” Ducky explained.

 

“Much like my bladder,” Tony groaned as he stood back up to find his way to the bathroom.

 

After Tony had finished his plate, Abby began handing Tony his presents. He was glad he had registered at the baby store, but was also please that his friends had thought to buy some things that weren’t on the list. The outfits that Abby had gotten for the baby were adorable, and the car seat was practical. McGee got them the high chair from the registry and a very cool hi-tech bottle warmer that wasn’t on the list. Ziva bought the bouncy chair as well as a very hip and masculine diaper bag that was unlike any Tony had ever seen. And Ducky had gotten the stroller Tony had registered for, but he’d also bought several swaddling blankets and pajamas.

 

“This is all great,” Tony gushed. “Thank you!”

 

Conversations turned to work and friends and future plans after that, but Tony looked at Gibbs with a pleading smile even as he chatted with Ziva about Jewish traditions. Gibbs’ smirked, but grabbed Tony’s plate from the table and headed to the kitchen.

 

Three hours, two more plates of food, two pieces of cake and a dozen Abby-hugs later, Gibbs had loaded the care with their gifts and they were on their way back to the house.

“Can we not go straight back?” Tony asked wistfully.

 

Gibbs glanced at Tony. It was true he didn’t get out much these days. “Anywhere in particular you wanted to go?”

 

“No place special,” Tony said. “I just want to drive, feel the wind through the open windows. I just want to be out of the house for a while longer.”

 

Gibbs nodded and took Tony’s hand as he turned the car away from home. He knew a really nice country road with some great scenic spots to stop.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Friday, June 26th_

Tony was restless. He’d been pacing through the downstairs since Gibbs left an hour ago to pick Jack up at the airport. Most of the last two days had been spent cleaning the house in preparation for Jack’s arrival. In fact, Tony had just about driven Gibbs mad with his obsessive need for everything to be perfect. “It’s just Dad,” Gibbs was heard muttering several times. But since he was cooperating with Tony’s frenzied preparations, Tony chose not to acknowledge those remarks. Gibbs had even vacuumed up all the sawdust from his workroom.

 

The problem was, now Tony had nothing to do but wait. Wait for Gibbs to get back with Jackson. Wait for dinner to finish cooking. Wait for the baby to come. All the preparations that could be made had been made and it left Tony feeling edgy.

 

And then he felt the first pain.

 

 

Tony sat down at the piano and rubbed his belly. “You’re early, you know, junior. I suppose you take after your papa, though. He’s always impatient too. Well, you’re going to have to wait a little while longer, cause we don’t have a ride, so settle down.”

 

Tony called Dr. Miles and Ducky to let them know what was happening. Belinda told him that with the pains still so far apart they had time, so Tony decided that it could wait for LJ and Jackson to get home and put his phone away. Instead, he lifted the cover from the piano keys and began to play. Now that he knew why he’d been so frantic, Tony was able to calm himself. And the soothing music helped to sooth the baby as well.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Gibbs swore up and down. Well, in his head he swore up and down. Out loud, he said, “Yes dad. No dad. I don’t know dad.” Forty minutes in the car with his father and he was going nuts already. How he would ever survive two weeks he had no idea. Eventually, they pulled into the driveway and Gibbs could see Tony playing the piano through the window. He seemed to be totally lost in the music. Gibbs smiled and then frowned as he saw Tony pause his playing, grimace in pain, and then continue on.

 

“Come on dad,” Gibbs said. “I think…”

 

“Go check on him,” Jack said. “I can get in the house on my own.”

 

Gibbs nodded without ever really looking at his father and rushed into the house. “Tony? Are you okay?”

 

Tony turned from the piano with a bright smile on his face. “Junior doesn’t want to wait two more days.”

 

“Shit!” Gibbs cried out and then he was rushing frantically all over the first floor without actually accomplishing anything. “We need your bag. And the baby’s bag. And I have to call Ducky. No, I should call Dr. Miles first! Where’s the phone? Where’s the phone?! Tony, where’s the phone?”

 

Tony was chuckling as he levered himself off the piano bench and said, “I’ve already called Belinda and Ducky. They will meet us at the clinic in half an hour. The bags are both by the door, where you left them after checking them for the tenth time this morning, so no need to check them again.”

 

“How can you be so calm?” Gibbs demanded. “This is no time to be calm!”

 

Jackson had finally made it to the front door with his bag. He caught on to what was happening and shared a smile with Tony. “Decided to come early, eh? Leroy was impatient to get into the world too. Leroy! When you’re through falling apart, you can take my bag upstairs to the guest room. Tony and I will meet you out at the car.”

 

“Don’t forget the bags by the door,” Tony reminded his husband and walked calmly out the front door with Jackson.

 

Gibbs shook his head, finally shocked out of his frenzy. The two of them together were going to make him insane. He left his father’s bag in the front hall and grabbed the two bags they would need at the clinic and headed out the door.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Tony was glad that they were doing this at the clinic. He was comfortable there now. He wouldn’t have been comfortable at a hospital. He was getting better about his phobia, but it hadn’t gone away entirely. As he lay on the table looking up at the surgical lights, he was also glad that Gibbs was right there beside him. He couldn’t really see anything—there was a little curtain hiding everything from view—but from the look on LJ’s face, he could. Tony could feel the pressure of the scalpel and he felt them tugging and pushing. He’d thought that they would pull the baby out, but it felt more like they were squeezing a giant pimple.

 

They pressed and pulled and then he saw him. _Now that is disgusting,_ Tony couldn’t help thinking. Their baby was gray and covered blood and goop and still had a cord connected to Tony. Dr. Miles held him up by his foot and coaxed the little guy into taking a few breaths. Then he was breathing and crying and his color began to turn from gray to pink to red. Ducky took the baby and Dr. Miles went back to tugging and pinching and pressing. Tony ignored her and craned his neck to see what Ducky was doing. Gibbs was still mesmerized by whatever Dr. Miles was doing, but Tony could see Ducky in the corner of the room cleaning, measuring and weighing their baby. And then he swaddled him in a blanket and carried him back.

 

Just as he returned, Dr. Miles apparently finished what she was doing and was taking the little curtain down.

 

“Ready to hold your son?” Ducky asked.

 

“More than,” Tony said. He held out his arms and there he was. The little leach that had been living inside of him for all those months was there. The baby opened sleepy eyes and blinked at Tony. “Hey there. Nice to finally meet you. Wanna meet your papa?”

 

Gibbs swallowed hard and leaned closer and took the little hand that had escaped the blanket. His eyes were suspiciously bright. “Hello little man.”

 

Ducky and Belinda gave the two fathers a few minutes alone with the baby.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

_Saturday, June 27 th_

 

Belinda insisted that Tony rest at the clinic for a few hours before she let him or the baby go anywhere. She was astonished, therefore, when she went to check on his incision a couple hours later and found that they looked as though they were at least a week old, not three hours. And when the baby’s umbilical cord fell off, leaving a fresh pink belly button, they knew for sure that at least some of Tony’s traits had been passed along to their son.

 

“We need to fill out the birth certificate,” Belinda reminded them as they prepared to head home.

 

Jackson and Ducky were both eager to hear what name they had chosen, since they hadn’t yet shared it with anyone.

 

“You can put down Jackson Robert Gibbs for the baby,” Gibbs said. Jackson got a bit choked up when he heard that, but nodded his thanks to Jethro.

 

“And Toni Gibbs, with an ‘i’ for the mother,” Tony said ruefully.

 

“Gibbs?” LJ asked his husband.

 

Tony shrugged. “I changed it after we got married. I figured that I didn’t need any ties to a family that doesn’t love me. I’d rather be tied to one that does.”

 

Gibbs kissed Tony softly and chastely. “Thank you.”

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Back at the house, there were three people waiting anxiously for their arrival. Very slowly and carefully, Tony and Gibbs made their way up the steps and through the front door with Jackson and Ducky following close behind. When Abby caught sight of the baby in his carrier, she gave a muted squeal and Tony had to chuckle.

 

“Help me go to bed,” he told Gibbs. “Ducky and Jack can introduce Jackie to the crowd.”

 

Gibbs hand the carrier over to his father and then helped Tony slowly climb the stairs. Before they even made it to the first landing, they could hear the cooing and awing of their friends.

 

Twenty minutes later, Tony was settled and Abby came into the bedroom with a crying baby. “Ducky thought maybe he’s had enough strangers gaping at him.”

 

Tony chuckled and took his son from her arms just as Gibbs emerged from the bathroom. “You need a bottle?”

 

“And a diaper,” Tony said.

 

Gibbs went to fetch the items while Abby sat on the edge of the bed and watched her friend. “You know, when you came back from that awful place and couldn’t remember anything, I was so sad. I thought I had lost my best friend. You’ve changed so much, Tony, but under all that, you’re still you. And now you’re a daddy too. And I guess I just wanted to say is: I love you and I’m glad you’re my friend.”

 

Tony smiled and kissed her cheek. “I love you too.”

 

“We’ve been meaning to ask you something for a while now,” Gibbs said from the doorway. He had the bottle of formula and a tiny little newborn sized diaper in his hands.

 

“Oh?”

 

Tony cleared his throat and nodded. “Yeah. We’d like for you to be Jackie’s godmother. Ducky’s already agreed to be his godfather.”

 

“Oh! Oh yes! Of course I will!” Abby gushed as she hugged Tony first and then Jethro and then put a little kiss on Jackie’s forehead. “Your Auntie Abby is going to be the very best godmother ever. Just you wait and see.”

 

“Of that, I have no doubt,” Gibbs said and then kissed Abby’s cheek before heading back downstairs.

 

**GDGDGDGDGD**

 

Tony and Gibbs curled up in bed together that night, with Jackie in the hand-carved cradle beside them.

 

“He can’t stay in here forever,” Gibbs warned.

 

“Just a few nights,” Tony agreed. “Just until the christening next week.”

 

“No longer,” Gibbs said. He was playing the hard-ass, but the truth was that he wanted Jackie in there too. But he knew that it was healthier for all of them for him to have his own space. So he set a time limit and intended to stick to it no matter how much they both disliked the idea.

 

Tony was quiet for a time, but Gibbs knew he wasn’t ready to sleep yet.

 

“How long do you think it will be before Ducky clears me for sex?” Tony asked.

 

That wasn’t the question that Gibbs had expected. “Um, given your recovery times, probably a couple days. Why?”

 

“Just thinking you’ll need to get some condoms before then,” Tony said.

 

“Yeah,” Gibbs agreed. He wanted to ask another question but wasn’t sure if he should.

 

“I want more,” Tony said, as if reading Gibbs’ mind. “Just not for a while.”

 

Gibbs smiled in the darkness of their room. “I can agree with that. Let’s get Jackie at least walking before we try again.”

 

“Maybe out of diapers,” Tony said. “Two in diapers might be a bit much.”

 

“Yeah,” Gibbs said. He leaned so that he could give Tony a heated kiss.

 

When they broke apart, they were both breathing heavily and obviously aroused.

 

“No fair,” Tony pouted. “No clearance from Ducky and no condoms.”

 

Gibbs gave a wicked grin. “There are other options. If you think you can be quiet.”

 

“God yes,” Tony whispered as Gibbs slid down the bed and captured Tony’s cock between his lips and slowly swallowed him down. He was just getting into a rhythm when Tony wrapped his fingers in Gibbs’ hair and pulled him away. “I love you.”

 

“I know,” Gibbs said with a smirk. He licked and kissed Tony’s cock a few times before grinning up at his husband in the darkness. “I love you too.”

 

“I know,” Tony said. And then he was lost to the pleasure that Gibbs was giving him.

 

A little more than a year ago, Tony’s world had been completely destroyed. But this man had helped him piece it back together into a better and brighter place to live and laugh and love. And Tony had every intention of enjoying every minute of it.

 

**The End**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Another of my favorite fics that missed the move to AO3...


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